with the heat on, Cary Grant strategically in front of the heater, warming her fur.
Being in Brooklyn and having a friend was making Theo even more depressed about Yonkers.
âI never want to go back,â she told Sammy.
âYou want me to ask my aunt if you can crash with us for a little while?â Sammy asked. âThe only thing is youâd have to sleep on the floor. Because we just have the couch and her bedroom.â
âBut I donât have a job here,â Theo said. âOr any money.â
âWe should find an apartment together. If we shared a one-bedroom we could afford it. You could get out of Yonkers. I could help you take care of Cary Grant.â
âReally?â Theo asked. âWill a one-bedroom be big enough?â
âWe could get a pull-out couch for the living room and trade off the bedroom every few months. When Iâm not at massage school Iâll probably be at work anyway.â
The prospect of having someone to help her pay the rent and take care of the dog was exciting.
âLetâs get some beer and the classifieds and look for some apartments right now,â Sammy said.
âOkay.â
She didnât want to tell Sammy she was trying to be sober, because the idea of a beer sounded amazing. Theo had many sobriety dates: August 1st, March 18th, September 3rd, September 18th, New Yearâs Day (Theoâs birthday January 1st), every old girlfriendâs birthday, her motherâs birthday, and after she fell in love with Vincent Van Gogh, March 30th, his birthday. The great thing about quitting drinking so many times, she told herself, was it gave her a kind of expertise to know how to stop again if she relapsed. Her alcoholism was like a person who finds themselves running down a too-steep hill; inevitably their body moves faster than their legs and they plummet face-first into the gravel. No, she wasnât going to tell Sammy she was sober, just in case she decided to drink.
Theo drove them through Brooklyn back to Sammyâs, riding a manic high at the prospect of drinking again. Her body turned jumpy the way it did when she flirted with unavailable girls or considered stealing; she was tiptoeing on the edge of danger. The mania made all of Brooklyn brighterâthe butcher shops and corner stores and clusters of old men sitting on park benches reading the New York Post .
Back at Sammyâs apartment, Sammy rolled a joint.
âOh, I forgot to get the beer,â Sammy said taking a hit off her joint.
âItâs no big deal,â Theo said, trying to seem nonchalant.
Theo read the apartment ads out loud to Sammy one at a time, circling every one that was less than $800. Then Sammy and Theo alternated calling. Each time someone answered, the apartment had already been rented.
âBut the paper only came out today. I donât understandâhow is everything already rented?â Theo said.
âWeâll find a place,â Sammy reassured her. âItâs only the first day.â
In the late afternoon they went to Coney Island, and even though the boardwalk was closed for the winter they managed to buy some Nathanâs cheese fries. They walked the perimeter of the locked-up rides, looking at the tall weeds growing through the concrete at the foot of the Cyclone Rollercoaster.
âHave you ever been on that?â Theo asked Sammy.
Sammy nodded.
âWe can come here in the summer when itâs open. You feel like youâre going to die. Itâs so fun.â
âHas anyone ever died on it?â
âYeah. A couple.â
Sammy pointed to the roller coasterâs wooden planks. âDonât they look like they could snap in half any minute?â
On the drive home, Sammy pointed out more Brooklyn landmarks as night fell. Finally, when it was time for Theo to go home, her stomach filled with dread. Sammy promised to continue looking for apartments on their behalf and gave Cary Grant
Sharon Kleve, Jennifer Conner, Danica Winters, Casey Dawes