Free The Debt & the Doormat by Laura Barnard

can’t just give myself to a practical stranger.’  She really doesn’t know me at all.
    ‘Give yourself?’  She yanks up her knickers and comes out of the cubicle.  ‘Next you’ll be talking about your special flower.’
    I narrow my eyes at her, trying to show my irritation. 
    ‘I just think you should have a one night stand with him.  I do it all the time, it’s great.  Pure, hot, indulgent sex and no strings attached.  You really can’t go through life without doing it at least once.’
    ‘Oh really, and you’re such a good example are you?  Where have all the one night stands got you?’ I ask bitchily.  Her face drops and I immediately feel awful.
    ‘Hey, I’ve had loads of hot sex actually,’ she says defensively.  ‘Which is more than I can say about you.  How many men have you slept with?  Was it three?’ she mocks.
    Well now I practically feel like a virgin. 
    ‘I’m sorry,’ I sigh.  ‘I didn’t mean to be a bitch.  It’s just....I’m scared.  I don’t know if I can get naked in front of someone I don’t see a future with.’
    ‘God, you’re practically a nun!’  She turns to face me, placing her hands on my shoulders.  ‘Look, I know it’ll be the first time since...Him.  But, remember that you can be anything you want to be.  For all he knows you’re some vamp who eats men for breakfast.  Just think of it as a performance.’
    I think about it for a moment and try not to allow my stomach to curl up in fear.  Maybe this would be good for me.  Help me move on completely.  It would be nice to get my number up to four. 
    ‘The only way you’re going to completely get over him is to get under someone else.’
    ‘Jazz!’ I exclaim.  She can be so crass. 
    ‘Whatever, virgin,’ she jokes, a comical look on her face.
    I think about her poor date.  He has no idea what he’s let himself in for.  She’ll eat him alive.  An idea pops into my head.   
    ‘Ok.  I’ll do it.  But only if you don’t sleep with your man tonight,’ I challenge.
    ‘What?  Why do I have to suffer?’ she asks dramatically pouting her lips.
    ‘I’m doing this for your own good.  You seem to like this guy, so why ruin it by jumping into bed with him?  Make him wait a while and it will be even better.’
    She ponders over this for a while as she puts on more neon pink lipstick and puffs up her long tangled hair.
    ‘Ok it’s a deal.  But remember – think Madonna in her slutty days.’
    *                             *                            *
     
     
    As I put the key into the unfamiliar door, I notice my hands are shaking.  I’m really going through with this.  Is it too late to change my mind?  I mean, I have made him travel all the way to the house, insistent that I didn’t want to go to his bachelor pad.  And he did pay for the taxi.  It’d probably be unreasonable to change my mind now. 
    I tip toe into the house, glad to find it in darkness.  They must be in bed, or maybe they’re still out.  I open the door to my bedroom and push the clothes from the floor with my foot to make a path.  I really should tidy up this pig sty. 
    I turn to him and swallow hard, desperately trying to think of something sexy to say.  There’s no need as he plunges his lips onto mine.  I kiss him back and try to think vamp as he claws at my dress.  Fight every natural urge in your body to run away and commit to this.  It’s really no big deal. 
    *                            *                            *
     
     
    Well that was different.  That really was something.  I was an animal !  Jazz was so right, once I got into character, I was on fire.  To think at the start I was actually worried I wouldn’t know what I was doing.  But it's just like riding a bike.  And boy, oh boy, did I just get back on that saddle. 
    My fears of bats flying loose from my