Free Walk Beside Me (Walk Series) by H.J. Bellus Page A

I did that day. Kara came after me in the parking lot and began in on Tessa. It took everything I had to not bloody her nose with my bare fist. I left the shower and have tried avoiding her every chance I get. Managing to only see her a handful of times since has been no easy fucking task. I just don’t see avoiding today’s events.
    Life has turned me into a cynical, evil dickhead. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but the feeling I got holding Tessa and her belly was overwhelming and dropped me to my knees. The pure emotion running through my veins was something I never felt. It’s so different when Kara forces me to touch her. I’ve always chalked it up to despising her and the choices I’ve made, but I should feel for the baby. It scares me how much I don’t feel for it.
    Quickly I jump into a hot shower trying to avoid all the nasty thoughts that can so easily consume me. I’ve found showers are about my only place of solace. It’s the one place I’ve never allowed anything to taint the memories of Tessa. It’s the hot water that reminds me of her and washing her skin. Opening the bottle of girly soap that reminds me so much of her I instantly get hard. My right hand immediately goes down grabbing onto it. Shutting my eyes, tilting my head back, I allow myself to let go while focusing solely on the love of my life in her glowing pregnancy state. The smells of her and feel of me in her will be the two things I swear to take to my grave. I grunt her name into the empty shower as I release and for just a few seconds feel her all over my skin again.
    The first thing I hear when I step out of the shower is the ringing of my cell phone, and that’s when the welcoming thought of reality smacks me straight in the face. Thank God, I have the shower as my sanctuary.
    I send Kara a quick text back saying that I’ll be over in an hour. She responds right away and even tries to call me back, but I don’t answer. I take Duke and go for a walk around the frozen pond remembering childhood memories with Granddaddy. He loved Christmas Eve and teasing us kids mercilessly with what our gifts were. He’d always make sure we had the biggest spiral cut ham in the county and only on Christmas Eve he’d let all of us into dessert first.
    My face can’t help but smile at all the Christmas memories this ranch holds. With each rock I kick those memories slowly fade away and the realization of sharing this ranch with Tessa does too.
    Pulling into Kara’s parent’s driveway feels so wrong. I took the long way here and finally had to put my phone on silent because of Kara. I’ve driven past Will’s house daily since the last time I talked to Tess. It’s a selfish action but gives me a bit of hope every single time I see her truck parked out front. I was sure she’d be gone the day Tommie gave birth.
    I also know she walks every morning and I make sure to watch her. These small glimpses of Tessa are just enough for me to make it through my day. The cement statues lining Kara’s parent’s driveway sends chills up my spine and brings me straight back to reality.
    As soon as I turn off the engine, Kara is at the door waving at me happy as can be. I’m not sure if she truly is just naïve or evil enough to believe this is what I want with my life, but it’s not. Shortly my father is standing behind her with his hand on her shoulder. It takes all of me to get out of the truck and trudge up the driveway.
    “Finn.” My dad seems nervous as he greets me.
    I don’t have anything to say back to him so I don’t.
    “Baby, I’m so glad you came.” Kara’s arms snake around my neck and she pulls me in for a long hug. “You could’ve have dressed up a bit though.”
    “I can leave if you want me to,” I instantly snap back while removing her body from mine.
    “Finn, don’t,” my dad warns.
    “Or what?” I counter right back not stepping down. “You’ve ruined everything I’ve ever loved. What in the fuck do you expect