Free Statistic by Dawn Robertson

Believe me, I have tried just about everything.
    “So you need someone to take care of you?” he jokes, but I can tell he is partially serious. The thought is nice, someone to take care of me for once when I have always been the caregiver. Whether it was with Colin or now Liam. Not that I mind taking care of my son. That is my job as a mother. But I am kinda over taking care of men. Do you really blame me?
    “Maybe,” I smirk as I answer him in a flirty tone. With Jackson, it all has just been coming too easy to me. It isn’t forced. I don’t think about what I am going to do or say and that is when I realize the difference between Jackson and Wesley. With Wesley I am always thinking about my actions and how he is going to react to me. How he will handle something I say. How I will touch him or what we will do together. Overthinking, plotting, planning. That isn’t how a relationship should be. I can’t be myself because I am just too worried about whether he will like me or my actions.
    If things are like that now, what will it be like a month from now? Two months from now? A relationship would simply never survive.
    “Earth to Aurora!” Jackson laughs and I am snapped from my thoughts of another man. Shit.
    “Sorry, I totally just spaced out.” I laugh. He probably thinks I am a total head case. Crap! I just couldn’t help but try and sort things out in my mind. I overthink. I may not be organized, but I for sure a deep thinker.
    “It’s okay. So, you are good to be out on the boat all day. Maybe we can grab some dinner later on? I mean, depends on how the day goes.” he winks at me again and all the reservations I have had sitting in the back of my head slowly begin to melt away. Yes, shit in my life is confusing, but whatever. What’s it the kids say today? Yolo? I guess I really do only live once and I am sick of never taking a chance.
    “That sounds great.” I wanted to say I would totally make him dinner later, but I am not going to let the cart get before the horse. Yeah I want to jump in head first with him but I am also not going to sabotage myself.
    We pull into the marina, row after row of expensive yachts. Nothing like I have ever been on before. I turn to look at Jackson and he smiles politely back at me. He looks like a little kid in a candy store as he turns to the backseat, grabbing a small cooler.
    “Everything okay?” he questions. I probably look as confused as I feel.
    “Yeah, I’ve just never…” I trail off looking at the sheer size of the boats.
    “Mine isn’t that big. It’s parked down at the end. A friend owns the marina so I get to hang with the big boys.” he laughs. “I mean, shit. Mine is big… Never mind.” he nervously tried to backtrack his statement.
    “Wait. What are we talking about?” I laugh and poke fun at him. What good is a dick joke if you don’t play into it? I almost feel like a twelve year old boy, but it feels good not to be overthinking everything I am going to say.
    “Sorry, I’ve been hanging around the guys way too much lately.”
    “It’s okay. I am used to it.” I grab my bag and we start heading toward the dock.

    I lay on the deck of the boat soaking in the rays of the hot summer sun. It feels good on my soft skin. I can feel my body heating, slowly tanning as Jackson lays next to me doing the same. If I didn’t know any better, I would think he was sleeping. His throat clears and I open my eyes and turn my head to find him staring at me. His chocolate brown eyes shimmering in the bright sun.
    “I think I am going to jump in and cool off. Wanna join me?” he asks and I eagerly agree. My body is dying to cool down even if it is in the salt water of the Atlantic. I can’t say I have ever been a fan of the ocean. I prefer pools, but beggars can’t be choosers right?
    I stand up and stretch my legs out. My arms fly over my head and I let out a yawn. I thought I had slept enough last night, but I guess it really is never enough. I