Free Me Without You by Kelly Rimmer

like a blanket. ‘I was born on the road, so to speak. I didn’t understand what it was like to put roots down, or to feel settled. Every now and again we visited Grandma and Pa back in Gosford, but even so, I barely knew them at that point.’
    ‘I just can’t imagine it.’ I shook my head. ‘When my parents died, and when my brothers and I sold that house… I felt like I’d lost a part of myself, like it—like it had been my anchor, and then I was adrift.’
    ‘There is something really, truly beautiful about having a place to call home,’ Lilah agreed softly. ‘But surely it’s got to be a base to return to, rather than an anchor. Ships only use their anchors between journeys, don’t they?’
    ‘You can’t always be on a journey.’
    ‘Of course you can,’ Lilah murmured. ‘Life is a journey. You don’t have to travel, but you always have to be going somewhere or you stagnate.’
    A silence fell, and my thoughts turned towards the moment we were sharing. Both of our wine glasses were empty, and we’d shared plenty of wine at the restaurant too, but in the strangest way I felt like I was more drunk on the chat than I was on the wine. I couldn’t remember ever talking like this, relaxing into a conversation with a woman and just letting the words run free. But even if the words ran out, I’d have been equally content just to sit there with her and watch for her next move.
    ‘Do you have this effect on everyone?’
    ‘What effect?’
    ‘I feel like you’re this teeny, tiny whirlwind, and in two dinners you’ve managed to jumble up every single thing I thought about my own life.’
    ‘In a good way?’
    ‘I think so.’ I ran my fingers through the lengths of her hair for a moment, until she sat slowly and lowered her glass onto the floor beside us. She turned to me and rested her hand on my shoulder. Staring into her eyes, and with her staring right back into mine, a sudden sense of my own smallness escaped me. ‘Aren’t I boring to you?’
    Lilah leant forward and swept her mouth ever so gently over mine.
    ‘No, you’re not boring,’ she smiled as she whispered. ‘Maybe you’re a little maddening.’ Another kiss, longer this time, soothing any offence her words might have caused. ‘And maybe just a wee bit judgemental when it comes to people who don’t like shoes.’ The next kiss was longer still, and deeper, and when she broke away from my mouth she leant her forehead against mine and closed her eyes as she whispered, ‘But I barely know you, and even I can see that there’s so much more to you than all that. How could I find you boring?’
----
    I woke before her , and as soon as I did, I realised that the very best part about waking up at Lilah’s apartment was that she had absolutely nowhere to run to escape me. When she stirred in my arms and I saw her eyelids flutter open, I could imagine waking this way every day for the rest of my life.
    I love you, I’d whisper, and she’d whisper it back and we’d share a stinky-morning-breath kiss. There’d be extraordinary beauty in the ordinary intimacy of our life together, and I’d never feel disconnected again.
    The thought was startling and I wondered where it had come from. Lilah was a beautiful, fascinating woman. I’d known plenty of those before and never even considered that I should settle down with one of them, let alone after a single night. The thought was uncomfortable, and I shifted to give her a brief good-morning kiss and asked, ‘How did you sleep?’
    ‘Like a fucking log,’ she stretched and smiled at me again. ‘Even though you snored.’
    ‘I’m pretty sure that was you.’ I was stark naked; there was no way I could hide my blush. I had slept deeply, much deeper than I could remember sleeping in a long time.
    ‘Don’t be embarrassed. Unless my neighbours complain, then you can be embarrassed—and they might; you snore loud .’
    She was teasing me again. I kissed her forehead.
    ‘What do vegans eat