Free The Broom of the System by David Foster Wallace

“Frequent and Vigorous.”

4
    1972
    TRANSCRIPT OF MEETING BETWEEN THE HONORABLE RAYMOND ZUSATZ, GOVERNOR OF THE STATE OF OHIO; MR. JOSEPH LUNGBERG, GUBERNATORIAL AIDE; MR. NEIL OBSTAT, GUBERNATORIAL AIDE; AND MR. ED ROY YANCEY, VICE PRESIDENT, INDUSTRIAL DESERT DESIGN, INCORPORATED, DALLAS, TEXAS; 21 JUNE 1972.
     
    OVERNOR: Gentlemen, something is not right.
    MR. OBSTAT: What do you mean, Chief?
    GOVERNOR: With the state, Neil. Something is not right with our state. MR. LUNGBERG: But Chief, unemployment is low, inflation is low, taxes haven’t been raised in two years, pollution is way down except for Cleveland and who the hell cares about Cleveland—just kidding, Neil—but Chief, the people love you, you’re unprecedentedly ahead in the polls, industrial investment and development in the state are at an all-time high....
    GOVERNOR: Stop right there. There you go.
    MR. OBSTAT: Can you expand on that, Chief?
    GOVERNOR: Things are just too good, somehow. I suspect a trap.
    MR. LUNGBERG: A trap?
    GOVERNOR: Guys, the state is getting soft. I can feel softness out there. It’s getting to be one big suburb and industrial park and mall. Too much development. People are getting complacent. They’re forgetting the way this state was historically hewn out of the wilderness. There’s no more hewing.
    MR. OBSTAT: You’ve got a point there, Chief.
    GOVERNOR: We need a wasteland.
    MR. LUNGBERG and MR. OBSTAT: A wasteland?
    GOVERNOR: Gentlemen, we need a desert.
    MR. LUNGBERG and MR. OBSTAT: A desert?
    GOVERNOR: Gentlemen, a desert. A point of savage reference for the good people of Ohio. A place to fear and love. A blasted region. Something to remind us of what we hewed out of. A place without malls. An Other for Ohio’s Self. Cacti and scorpions and the sun beating down. Desolation. A place for people to wander alone. To reflect. Away from everything. Gentlemen, a desert.
    MR. OBSTAT: Just a super idea, Chief.
    GOVERNOR: Thanks, Neil. Gentlemen may I present Mr. Ed Roy Yancey, of Industrial Desert Design, Dallas. They did Kuwait.
    MR. LUNGBERG: Hey, there’s apparently a lot of desert in Kuwait. MR. YANCEY: You bet, Joe, and we believe we can provide you folks with a really first-rate desert right here in Ohio.
    MR. OBSTAT: What about the cost?
    GOVERNOR: Manageable.
    MR. LUNGBERG: Where would it be?
    MR. YANCEY: Well gentlemen, the Governor and I have conferred, and if I could just direct your attention to this map, here ...
    MR. OBSTAT: That’s Ohio, all right.
    MR. YANCEY: The spot we have in mind is in the south of your great state. Right about ... here. Actually here to here. Hundred square miles.
    MR. OBSTAT: Around Caldwell?
    MR. YANCEY: Yup.
    MR. LUNGBERG: Don’t quite a few people live around there? GOVERNOR: Relocation. Eminent domain. A desert respects no man. Fits with the whole concept.
    MR. LUNGBERG: Isn’t that also pretty near Wayne National Forest? GOVERNOR: Not anymore. (Mr. Lungberg whistles. )
    MR. OBSTAT: Hey, my mother lives right near Caldwell.
    GOVERNOR: Hits home, eh Neil? Part of the whole concept. Concept has to hit home. Hewing is violence, Neil. We’re going to hew a wilderness out of the soft underbelly of this state. It’s going to hit home.
    MR. LUNGBERG: You’re really sold on this, aren’t you, Chief?
    GOVERNOR: Joe, I’ve never been more sold on anything. It’s what this state needs. I can feel it.
    MR. OBSTAT: You’ll go down in history, Chief. You’ll be immortal.
    GOVERNOR: Thanks, Neil. I just feel it’s right, and after conferring with Mr. Yancey, I’m just sold. A hundred miles of blinding white sandy nothingness. ‘Course there’ll be some fishing lakes, at the edges, for people to fish in ...
    MR. LUNGBERG: Why white sand, Chief? Why not, say, black sand?
    GOVERNOR: Go with that, Joe.
    MR. LUNGBERG: Well, really, if the whole idea is supposed to be contrast, otherness, blastedness, should I say sinistemess? Sinistemess is the sense I get.
    GOVERNOR: Sinisterness fits,