Free Secrets of My Hollywood Life by Jen Calonita

what we have for her to try on?" Liz suggests gently.
    "Oh, right. Paul? Shelly?" Mom says distractedly. "Want to get Kaitlin started?"
    Paul slides the wrought-iron stool over and I take a seat.
    "Let me just say that despite the fact that I'm up early on my first day off in two weeks, I think this is a fabulous idea," Paul coos, as he brushes out my frizzy hair.
    "You do?" I question.
    "Yes, because now we finally get to have fun with you." Paul twirls my stool around. "No more dullsville. Shell, grab the wigs."
    Shelly brings an overflowing box of rainbow-colored wigs over.
    "We already started to go through them, sweetie," Shelly tells me. "We need something that won't stick out like a sore thumb." Shelly holds up a pile of blond wigs perfect for a drag queen. "These, for example, won't do."
    "What length do you want, Kates?" Liz asks.
    "I don't know." I twirl a strand of my waist-length honey-colored hair around my finger. "Same as now? What do you think, Mom? Redhead or brunette?"
    "Brunette, sweetie. Redheads are a passing phase." Mom grabs a long brown wig with huge curls. "Look how pretty this is."
    "Very Julia Roberts." Paul nods approvingly.
    "Too adult," I argue.
    "What about this one?" Shelly holds up a shoulder-length brown wig with blond highlights. The hair is pin-straight and smooth.
    "Who would have time to iron their hair like that in the morning?" I ask. I mean, I would for FA, but normal people don't see their hairstylist every morning, right?
    "Girls at our school do," says Liz. "Some get their hair blown out before class in the morning."
    I shake my head. "No, no. I want something plain. I don't want to stand out."
    "Yeah, because it so stinks to look like movie star royalty," Liz comments dryly.
    I ignore the dig and start rummaging through the box. On the bottom, I find a short, straight brown wig. It's set in a bob. "What about this one?"
    Paul frowns, then takes it from my hands, holding the wig out in front of him as if it's a piece of trash. He helps me put the wig on and shows me how to pin my own hair back so that it fits under the skull cap I'll have to wear. The wig fits pretty snugly, which is good. I turn around and look at everyone.
    "Well?"
    No one looks happy.
    "It's mousy," Mom pouts.
    I look in the mirror that Shelly holds up for me. My face framed with short brown hair stares back.
    "It's perfect." I smile at my unfamiliar mirror image.
    "I kind of like it," Liz pronounces. "Very Natalie Portman in Closer."
    Shelly eyes me carefully. She walks over and plays with some strands of the wig. "It's so not you. This could work, Meg," she tells my mom.
    "I guess." Mom looks at me glumly. So does Paul.
    "Paul, I'm not supposed to be glamorous. We don't want anyone to know who I am," I remind him.
    "Whatev." He's not looking at me.
    "I'll tell you what," I offer. "You can style me however you want for The Tonight Show next week."
    "Anything I want?" he asks. "Even hair extensions?"
    "Yes, anything," I laugh. "Now what's next?"
    "Well, as dull as your hair looks, I can still tell it's you," says Shelly. She scrutinizes me. "Hmm ... let's try some contacts. If we're going for wallflower, then we've got to cover those beautiful green eyes of yours." She pulls out a box of contacts and hands me a lens. It takes me a few minutes, but I finally get one in. I look in the mirror. One brown and one green eye stare back at me. I pop the other lens in and turn around.
    "Well?"
    Everyone crowds around to get a better look.
    "You look boooring," Paul moans.
    Liz tilts her head to the side. "It's pretty convincing."
    "You really can't tell it's me?" I ask excitedly. "Maybe we should try this disguise out." I head towards the door.
    Shelly blocks my path. "We're not done yet. Try these." She puts a pair of thick oval tortoise-shell glasses on my face. Everyone oohs.
    "Now you definitely can't tell it's you!" Shelly exclaims incredulously.
    "You kind of look like Jen Garner did on Alias -- when she was having