Free Learning to Forgive by Sam Crescent

it
home she was already in bed. He never saw her waddle like his boys witnessed.
    She’d
heard the kids’ friends at school had named her “penguin”. Molly tried to see
the humour. They were only children, but each time she thought about it the
tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t control it, and that was the hardest part
of it all.
    Molly
sat down on the stool, closed the calendar, and drank her tea. “Don’t worry
about it, David. Your work is probably waiting for you. I’ll see you later.”
    He
stared at her for several moments. She turned her gaze to her tea-filled cup.
How pitiful must she look?
    “I’ve
got to make a call.”
    She
nodded. When he was gone, she picked up the photographs she’d gotten developed,
opened the album she'd purchased, and began to place them carefully into their
places.
    Most
of the photos were of the boys. There were a few with her in them. Trent was
with her for most of the pictures.
    David
walked back inside. “I’ve called work. I’m not going in for the rest of the
day,” he said.
    “No,
you love working. I understand. Don’t worry about it,” she said.
    “You’re
crying, Molly.”
    “That’s
the hormones. Every woman cries during pregnancy. Its natural, but I’m fine.”
Even as she spoke the words more tears began to fall. She dropped her head in
her hand and gave herself over to the crying. Within moments David was there,
his arms wrapped around her.
    “Baby,
what’s wrong?” he said.
    “I
can’t stand this anymore. It’s unfair. I don’t know what to do. I’m huge and
walk like a penguin. I embarrass your sons when I walk to school with them. No
one remembers my birthday even though I put it on the calendar, and I don’t
want you to feel obliged to spend the day with me or guilty because you didn’t
know when your wife’s birthday was,” she said, sobbing into his shirt. His arms
wrapped around her. His heavenly scent comforted her even though she wanted to
push him away.
    “I’ve
got you, Molly. Let it all go.”
    And
she did. She cried for everything that had gone wrong in her life, from the
pregnancy to falling in love with a man who could never love her back.
    “I
don’t want to do this anymore. It’s not fair.”
    “Molly,
let it all go. I’m here, baby, and I’ll catch you. Let it go,” he said.
    When
the tears subsided, she blew her nose on some tissue. “I’m sorry for being an
emotional wreck.”
    He
stroked her cheek and kissed her lips. “Thank you for carrying my child.”
    She
stayed in his arms while he stroked her hair. Every part of her felt
unattractive and swollen.
    “However,
I think we need to celebrate your birthday.”
    “How? I can’t go out anywhere.” She
wouldn’t be able to fit in the doors she was so big.
    “I’m
going to run you a bath and treat you at home.” He took her hand and led her up
to the main bedroom. She tried to resist his hold, but he wouldn’t let her
leave his side. Molly followed as he ran her a bath then began to help her
undress.
    “Please,
don’t.” She begged him. Her cheeks were warm with embarrassment. She didn’t
want him to see her body.
    “You’re
beautiful, Molly. I want to see you,” he said. After a few seconds of
hesitation, she moved her hands down and let him undress her. She closed her
eyes unable to look at him for fear of something going wrong.
    What
if he pushed her away? This baby had given her stretch marks, and her breasts
were larger than they were before. She ached all over.
    The
circus tent that she wore, which was supposed to be a dress, was pulled up her
body. She stood in the centre of the bathroom, exposed for him to look at and
touch. He started at her shoulders, rubbing his fingers along her muscles. She
tensed waiting for more. David hadn’t touched her in weeks. It was like she’d
grown a ball on her front and become instantly unattractive.
    “Look
at me, Molly,” he said.
    She
opened her eyes. He was staring at her. His hand moved down to