Free Pygmalion and Three Other Plays (Barnes & Noble Classics Series) by George Bernard Shaw

matter with me. [She rises and goes towards the door .]
    STEPHEN Where are you going, mother?
    LADY BRITOMART To the drawingroom, of course. [She goes out. Onward, Christian Soldiers, on the concertina, with tambourine accompaniment, is heard when the door opens.] Are you coming, Stephen?
    STEPHEN No. Certainly not. [She goes. He sits down on the settee, with compressed lips and an expression Of strong dislike.]
     
    END OF ACT I.

ACT II

    The yard of the West Ham shelter of the Salvation Army is a cold place on a January morning. The building itself, an old warehouse, is newly whitewashed. Its gabled end projects into the yard in the middle, with a door on the ground floor, and another in the loft above it without any balcony or ladder, but with a pulley rigged over it for hoisting sacks. Those who come from this central gable end into the yard have the gateway leading to the street on their left, with a stone horse-trough just beyond it, and, on the right, a penthouse shielding a table from the weather. There are forms aq at the table; and on them are seated a man and a woman, both much down on their luck, finishing a meal of bread (one thick slice each, with margarine and golden syrup) and diluted milk.
    The man, a workman out of employment, is young, agile, a talker, a poser, sharp enough to be capable of anything in reason except honesty or altruistic considerations of any kind. The woman is a commonplace old bundle of poverty and hard-worn humanity. She looks sixty and probably is forty-five. If they were rich people, gloved and muffed and well wrapped up in furs and overcoats, they would be numbed and miserable; for it is a grindingly cold, raw, January day; and a glance at the background of grimy warehouses and leaden sky visible over the whitewashed walls of the yard would drive any idle rich person, straight to the Mediterranean. But these two, being no more troubled with visions of the Mediterranean than of the moon, and being compelled to keep more of their clothes in the pawnshop, and less on their persons, in winter than in summer, are not depressed by the cold: rather are they stung into vivacity, to which their meal has just now given an almost jolly turn. The man takes a pull at his mug, and then gets up and moves about the yard with his hands deep in his pockets, occasionally breaking into a stepdance.
    THE WOMAN Feel better arter your meal, sir?
    THE MAN No. Call that a meal! Good enough for you, praps; but wot is it to me, an intelligent workin man.
    THE WOMAN Workin man! Wot are you?
    THE MAN Painter.
    THE WOMAN [sceptically] Yus, I dessay.
    THE MAN Yus, you dessay! I know. Every loafer that cant do nothink calls isself a painter. Well, I’m a real painter: grainer, finisher, thirty-eight bob a week when I can get it.
    THE WOMAN Then why dont you go and get it?
    THE MAN I’ll tell you why. Fust: I’m intelligent—fffff! it’s rotten cold here [he dances a step or two ] — yes: intelligent beyond the station o life into which it has pleased the capitalists to call me; and they dont like a man that sees through em. Second, an intelligent bein needs a doo share of appiness; so I drink somethink cruel when I get the chawnce. Third, I stand by my class and do as little as I can so’s to leave arf the job for me fellow workers. Fourth, I’m fly enough to know wots inside the law and wots outside it; and inside it I do as the capitalists do: pinch wot I can lay me ands on. In a proper state of society I am sober, industrious and honest: in Rome, so to speak, I do as the Romans do. Wots the consequence? When trade is bad—and it’s rotten bad just now—and the employers az to sack arf their men, they generally start on me.
    THE WOMAN Whats your name?
    THE MAN Price. Bronterre O‘Brien ar Price. Usually called Snobby Price, for short.
    THE WOMAN Snobby’s a carpenter, aint it?You said you was a painter.
    PRICE Not that kind of snob, but the genteel sort. I’m too uppish, owing to my intelligence, and