Free My Teenage Dream Ended by Farrah Abraham Page B

could not bring myself to kiss him or be anything more than friends. For a month and a half I seriously tried to make it work, but eventually I realized I was just using him to take my mind off of Derek.
    I decided to be honest with him about how I felt, but he didn’t take it very well. He couldn’t let it go. He created tension and drama between my best friends and me, which made me feel that he wasn’t such a nice guy after all.
    I was so sick of the drama and I couldn’t deal with stupid gossip anymore. I felt like I had something more important on my mind anyway, like, How am I going to get Derek to come talk to me again and quit being a loser?
    Meanwhile, on top of fighting with my own girlfriends, I had to watch Derek and his new girlfriend holding hands walking down the hall. Derek would practically rub it in my face. I was going through mad hay fever and for days I looked like I had been crying my eyes out over him and his new sweetheart. My life was sucking wind.
    I stopped talking to everyone who brought drama into my life. I only talked to my guy friends who had my back. They would come by my soccer practice and tell me what Derek had been up to. They told me he had started smoking. I was shocked because Derek had told me he would never smoke and didn’t like it when other people did. I kept hearing negative rumors about Derek. I didn’t want to believe any of it, but then one day my friend and I went to the Walgreens across the street from my school. I saw Derek walk in and I was going to go talk to him, but then I saw him walk out and the alarm went off.
    He didn’t stop at the register and the alarm had gone off, so I figured he must have stolen something. But I kept my mouth shut and didn’t say anything to my friend who was with me. My friends didn’t want to hear about Derek anymore anyway. I decided to just let it go. I realized that if he really didn’t want to talk to me anymore, I needed to accept it.
    But I couldn’t help thinking, What’s happening to Derek? He was smoking and now it looked like he was shoplifting? I felt like it was my fault. I broke up with him and gave his ring back. I had sex with some other boy and told him about it. I felt like I had pushed him over the edge and now I wasn’t there for him when he was clearly self-destructing.

DUDE, THERE’S A HAIR IN MY TACO!

    Meanwhile, I had started talking to a preppy skater boy who I had kind of always had a crush on. I was sick of Derek and when you’re sick of a boy sometimes the only answer is to talk to other boys. One day I went up to Skater Boy and said, “Let’s go out tonight.” I thought he had a girlfriend but he agreed to go out with me, so I figured they must have broken up.
    That night, Skater Boy and I went to my college friend’s party and I drank enough jungle juice to forget where the potty was. The next morning, my alarm went off at 5:00 AM and I found myself in Skater Boy’s bed, spooning him. I untangled myself, stood up and whispered loudly while tapping him, “Hey, you need to get up. I have to go to work. Can I borrow some shorts? Mine are wet.”
    He got up and threw me some shorts. I ran to the bathroom and peed. The release felt good because my bladder was so full from all the alcohol I had drunk the night before. When I came out of the bathroom, Skater Boy told me to call him later and I went to work. So on my break, I called, like I used to do with Derek, but this call wasn’t as cute.
    When he picked up, I said, “Hey, I’m on a break. Figured I’d call you quick.”
    He answered, “Are you okay? Do you remember anything from last night?” He didn’t seem concerned. I was getting more of a smartass vibe.
    Right away he said, “Dude, you pissed all over me and my bed last night!!”
    I started laughing, “Huh? I don’t get it. I peed this morning after I got up.”
    Laughing, he said, “That’s why you asked me for my shorts.
    Remember?”
    I said, “Oh. You’re probably right.