Free My Teenage Dream Ended by Farrah Abraham Page A

deep breath and called.
    Derek was at home and it sounded like he was in his room.
    I said, “Derek I’m going to tell you something and I don’t want you to get mad. I’m going to be honest with you, okay?”
    He agreed, “Okay, tell me.”
    “I did have sex with that guy. I don’t know why I did it, but you should understand. You’ve had sex with more than one person. I’ve only had sex with you and that was hard to deal with.”
    Derek started yelling, “I loved you and you went and had sex with a nigger. I fucking hate black people.”
    I let him vent and get all of his anger out. He was devastated and crying . Derek wasn’t a racist. He had black friends and I had never heard him say anything racist before. I think he was just so angry at the thought that I had slept with another guy that he was lashing out and trying to say the most awful, hurtful thing he could think of. This sounds crazy, but it showed me how much he really cared about me.
    It got quiet on the other end of the phone, and finally I spoke. I said, “I love you Derek. I needed to figure some things out. I’m telling you the truth because I care about you. I’ll call you later and we can talk more.”
    I felt bad, but at least now Derek and I were being open about our feelings. We talked a little bit on the phone every day for the next week and it seemed like we were getting closer.
    Unfortunately, we still had a rocky road ahead of us.

NO MR. NICE GUY

    March came and the weather started warming up again. It felt good. I was busy with soccer practice and there was a lot going on that time of year—grades, parties, getting ready for end-of-year stuff. Derek and I were still talking on the phone, but we weren’t really seeing each other. I wasn’t quite ready to get back together with him and I had no idea what he was really up to.
    One afternoon at practice, I was in line to practice shooting goals when I overheard some girls talking. I could tell they purposely wanted me to overhear, so I acted like I was ignoring them and didn’t give them the glory of bothering me. They were talking about how their friend had had sex with a boy at some party and they kept going on and on about it.
    Then they asked me, “Didn’t you date a Derek Underwood?”
    I ignored them and focused on my ball.
    Again they asked, “Hey, didn’t you date a Derek Underwood?”
    I turned around and said, “Yeah, a while ago. Who cares?”
    I moved forward, kicked my ball and switched lines.
    When I got out of practice, I called Derek. He picked up his phone and when he realized it was me he got all weird. He said he was in the shower and I thought, Why would you pick your phone up in the shower?
    I was aggravated, but I heard the water running, so I just came out with it, “Did you hook up with with some girl at a party this past weekend?”
    Derek replied, “Yeah.”
    I said, “And you think that’s okay?”
    Derek said “Yeah. I have to go get ready. Bye.”
    I was disgusted and hurt. I thought, Yeah, he has to shower to wash her off! I couldn’t believe that after everything Derek and I had talked about he would do this to me. Again! Now, every time I went to practice I would hear about Derek and this girl that was trying to be his girlfriend and the issues they were already having. It made me not want to go to practice anymore.
    I knew I needed to quit breaking my dating rules and just move on. I was disappointed in myself, but I shook it off and decided this was my chance to get back on track. So I switched practice times and started dating a boy who had soccer practice with me. We had met at one of my part-time jobs the previous winter, so I had known him for a few months.
    I figured he was the type of guy I should go for; he was nice, caring, and played sports. He really liked me. I met his parents and they liked me, which was a really nice change. We would go to parties and I would stay over at his place. He was so nice and cute and perfect, but I