Free The Quest of the DNA Cowboys by Mick Farren

bed.
    ‘Screw yourself, pig.’
    ‘Shut your mouth, honey, or we’ll book you for L and F.’
    The one with the gun prodded Billy in the stomach.
    ‘So you’re the gun-happy kid?’
    Billy tried to explain.
    ‘Listen, he pulled a laser on me …’
    The cop slapped Billy across the face.
    ‘We’ll tell you when to talk.’
    He pointed with his gun to the upright chair.
    ‘Sit.’
    Billy sat. The two cops stood in front of him.
    ‘So you’re the killer who blasts down citizens of Dogbreath with his fancy reproduction pistol.’
    The one with his gun spun it on his finger. Billy tried again.
    ‘He was roughing up Angelina, I hit him and he pulled a laser.’
    ‘So?’
    ‘It was self defence.’
    ‘So?’
    ‘I don’t understand.’
    ‘What makes you think Dogbreath has got any laws about self defence?’
    ‘It wasn’t my fault.’
    ‘No? You shot him, didn’t you?’
    ‘But …’
    ‘It’s lucky for you, kid, that Dogbreath don’t have no laws about killing, or you’d be in trouble.’
    Billy looked bewildered.
    ‘So what are you here for?’
    ‘We don’t like gun-happy kids in town.’
    ‘But you said there was no laws …’
    ‘We kill who we don’t like. The stage leaves at midnight. Don’t miss it.’
    Billy shook his head vigorously.
    ‘I won’t.’
    The cop pulled a pad of printed forms from a pouch on his belt.
    ‘Sign here.’
    ‘What is it?’
    ‘Statement exempting the People’s Metropolis of Dogbreath from all claims by agents or relatives of the deceased.’
    Billy signed.’
    ‘Okay, that’ll be …’
    The cop counted on his fingers.
    ‘Conveyance Fee ten, Mortification Duty twenty, Disposal Fee twenty, and Law Enforcement Charge fifty. That’s a round hundred altogether.’
    ‘You mean I have to pay to go through this?’
    ‘You better learn, kid. Nothing comes free.’
    They gave him his gun back.
    ‘Be on the stage.’
    They left. Billy looked round at Angelina.
    ‘What was that all about?’
    ‘They shook you down for a hundred. You got taken, honey.’
    ‘So what was I supposed to do?’
    She licked her lips with a swift, lizard-like flick of the tongue.
    ‘You could have killed them, and run.’
    ‘Wouldn’t that have been overdoing it?’
    ‘You don’t have any sense of class. No drama, no romance.’
    Billy started to get into bed, but Angelina pushed him away.
    ‘I’ve gone off you, honey. I don’t think I want you anymore.’
    ‘What’s the matter with you?’
    ‘The way you handled those cops, you’re just no good, babe.’
    Billy began to get annoyed.
    ‘I was good enough to handle your buddy with the laser.’
    Angelina thought about it, and then slowly rubbed her thighs together.
    ‘Yeah, I guess you were at that. Come on back to bed.’
    After another strenuous hour with Angelina and the induction coil, Billy passed out.
    He woke up with Reave shaking him.
    ‘Wake up, old buddy. The stage leaves in an hour.’
    Billy yawned.
    ‘Have I been out for that long?’
    ‘You have indeed.’
    Billy sat up rubbing his eyes.
    ‘Got a smoke?’
    Reave handed him a cigar, and then struck a match. Billy inhaled and coughed.
    ‘Did you have a good time last night?’
    Reave grinned and winked.
    ‘I’ll say.’
    Billy got out of bed and struggled into his clothes. Reave laughed.
    ‘You look rough, did you have a heavy night?’
    Billy pulled on one of his cowboy boots.
    ‘Heavy.’
    ‘Yeah? What happened? Did you come back here with that blue chick? She looked weird.’
    ‘She was weird.’
    Reave poked him in the ribs with his elbow.
    ‘Come on Billy, it’s me, Reave. What happened? Don’t be so cagey.’
    Billy took another cigar from Reave and sat down on the bed. He began reluctantly to tell him about the killing in the saloon and the scenes that followed.
    ‘… And then, to top it all, the fucking cops took a hundred off me.’
    The atmosphere of all boys together telling tales dropped away. Reave stroked his chin and looked