Free Greegs & Ladders by Mitchell Mendlow Page B

their
natural environment and locked up in tiny cages just for our
viewing enjoyment.”
    “What sort of
creatures do they have?”
    “Wailing
Hair-Beasts, Crawling Eyes, Horrendous Swamp-Swoons, Gelatinous
Cubes, Elemental Stone-Golems, hey...look! They even have some of
those Flying Grimbat Messengers I’ve read about.”
    “But do they
have any Greegs?” asked Krimshaw.
    “They boast a
decent selection of the most savage Greegs imaginable. Let’s head
over there now.”
    Krimshaw
sauntered towards the Master Ladder. Rip asked Wilx if he would
hang back for a minute and help him tie his non-existent
shoelaces.
    “Do you think
we should take him there?” he whispered. “I’m worried about the
stares he’s been getting, what being an intelligent Greeg wearing
clothing and consorting with non-Greegs and all.”
    “I’m sure
it’ll be fine,” said Wilx. “Let’s go over to the Ladder.”
    “Hurry up!”
yelled Krimshaw.
    Once Rip and
Wilx caught up, the three of them began descending the Master
Ladder. The vibe of the Subterranean Layers was uncomfortable.
    “I don’t like
it down here,” said Rip. It was a justifiable opinion to have. They
were currently passing by Subterranean 11, a layer used mainly as a
storage dump for the unneeded organs flowing in from the Layer of
Mildly Decent Surgeons Who Will Perform Surgery For All the Wrong
Reasons.
    “I agree,”
cried Wilx as they passed Subterranean 12, the Layer Where Nothing
is Done Except For Cutting Onions.
    “We should
have visited one of the floating thingies. Let’s turn around.”
    “No,” said
Krimshaw. “We have to see the cages. Besides, where there’s Greegs
there might be information about the all-Greeg planet.”
    “I guess so,”
said Rip. “How many more of these things do we have to climb
through?”
    “Just 41.”
    “Sigh.”
    Everyone was
beginning to feel the exhaustion of descending towards the centre
of Planet Lincra.
    Krimshaw
slipped and nearly plunged into the abyss.
    “Why is
everything connected by ladders?” he asked, referring not only to
the Master Ladder but also to the smaller ladders connecting the
many smaller layers and the general placement of ladders in most
areas of his vision. “On our ship we’ve got floating elevators and
teleportation rooms, yet the most popular planet in the system
can’t afford something better than archaic ladders? It is a
laughably inconvenient tool.”
    “Pfft, he
doesn’t know about the KULMOOG,” mocked Rip.
    “The
what?”
    “The Kroonum
Union of Ladder Makers and/or Official Overseeing Gods,” informed
Wilx.
    “Who are
they?”
    As everyone
descended, passing such places as the Layer of Governmental
Operations Concerning Hypnotic Mind Control, Wilx delved into the
long story of the Ladder Makers Union.
    “The KULMOOG
are the oldest and strongest union in the Kroonum system. They
started out as just the KULM, the Kroonum Union of Ladder Makers.
Their invention of the ladder revolutionized life as they knew it.
Suddenly people were able to reach things on high shelves without
climbing on the actual shelves and thus breaking them and having to
buy new shelves. Shelf makers lost a considerable amount of money
on this aspect of the ladder revolutionizing things. People could
also now pick fruit without having to climb trees, thus not falling
out of trees, breaking bones and requiring pricey hospital bills.
Doctors lost much of their income due to the increased safeness of
fruit-picking. It also became easier to break into houses; one
simply had to pick a window, prop a ladder and climb their way to
crime. Companies that made security bars for windows were one of
the few non-ladder related ventures to become richer as a result of
the ladder. Everyone was affected by the advent of this tool. With
so much money being spent on ladders instead of new shelves and
hospital bills, the KULM quickly became the richest entity in the
system. They became so powerful the Kroonum