Free Tight Knit by Allie Brennan

pace. I sigh. And I think I’m messed up.
    “I can’t help you if you won’t tell me.” I shrug and snap the chinstrap of my helmet shut. 
    “I don’t need help.” His demeanor changes, his arms fold across his chest and he leans back on one leg. We're obviously back to Mr. Cool.
    “Sure you don’t.” I hand him his helmet from where it hangs on the handlebars. 
    I’m hit with a realization as I watch him put on his helmet. He’s glancing at me, his eyes darting back and forth. He wants something from me. He has to or he never would have brought me here. I just wish I knew what it was. 
    He drives me home. It’s much tenser than earlier. I feel his body rigid and stiff against my chest. 
    The lights are out when we get to my house, which means my parents clearly weren’t concerned. I hand him back his helmet and he clips it on the bike. He watches me for a moment then his eyebrows furrow.
    “Listen, Talia. I’m sorry again, about, you know.” There is a heaviness to his shoulders as they hunch forward. The facade he’s hiding behind cracks open just for a second and I see something I never would have thought I’d see on him. An exhaustion I recognize. The effort it takes to keep everything and everyone out and the terror of what would happen if maybe, just maybe, it was time to let someone else in. 
    He’s so broken. He’s so broken it makes me feel better. I know that makes me sound awful but I’m happy to know there’s someone out there just as messed up as me. Someone who is just as tired of trying to shut it all out. Now I wonder what’s the ‘it’ he’s keeping out. 
    I reach out to touch his arm but stop myself halfway there and let my hand fall.
    “You didn’t know.” 
    ~
    Lachlan’s missing from school for most of the week and surprisingly I’ve been watching for him. I keep catching myself humming Georgina’s tune. The one he used to help me calm down. For the fifth time, I look over my shoulder down the hall. I shouldn’t be thinking about him right now.  
    I groan and continue rifling through my locker for the Math text that I lose on purpose. I see jeans and white sneakers walk up beside me. My heart thuds once in my chest and then stops beating altogether. What is wrong with me? Seriously! Deacon never made my heart jump like that and he was my boyfriend .
    I close the locker with a clang and see Lachlan’s crooked smile. He’s wearing a bright red, but worn Sam Roberts T-shirt, which impresses me. He has his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans and leans against the lockers. I notice that the leather band he always wears around his wrist has some sort of symbol on it.
    “Hey, Hat Girl, my eyes are up here.” I hear the laughter in his voice and my face burns.
    My head jerks upwards and I glare.
    “What does that symbol mean on your bracelet?” I ask quickly. The last thing I need is for him to think I’m staring at his crotch. 
    He lifts his arm up, his tattoos stretching as his forearm flexes. The ones with the torn skin are horrifying but I can’t look away. 
    “First of all, it’s not a bracelet. It’s a wristband. Got that, Hat Girl?” He pokes me in the shoulder, but I’m distracted by the three girls that are watching us with laser vision on the other side of the hall. The giggle trio from the first day of school.
    “Second of all,” he continues. “Come out with me tonight and maybe I’ll tell ya.” 
    What? 
    I have to swallow to keep my heart from beating right out of my mouth. 
    “Uh.” My eyes snap back to him. I hug my textbook closer to me as my breathing speeds up to match my heart. “I, uh, can’t.” 
    I turn and walk away as fast as I can. Lachlan asked me out and I said NO. No one says no to Lachlan. Wait, I don’t know that, but he has this aura that says he’s not used to hearing no. The look he gave me proves it. I don’t even know why I said no. I’m not doing anything tonight, except knitting with Nan. 
    Although