Free Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson

significant anchor to the present. It helps to make a shift from thinking to feeling. If you have ever been fortunate enough to immerse yourself in your breathing you will have noticed that you were detached from your mind. You might even say that you lost your mind, you lost all reason, you were consumed by vital energy and joy of life. This is because breathing unhooks us from our thought processes or the mental element of sex, and connects us with our essential life energy. We begin to feel more sensitive, sensual, and tactile as we make love. Connecting with the breath and consciously absorbing it enables us to reach in between and around our cells, to bring a sense of delicate porousness into the body.
    Breathing and sexual vitality
    As children, the action of our natural breathing massages the sex center. The easy flowing breath of a baby creates a wave that passes through to the lower stomach and pelvic area. It pulsates through the elastic diaphragm that separates the chest and abdomen, pushes downward on the organs and so pulses into the floor of the pelvis. Here an intricate web of muscles form the genitals, and this acts like a diaphragm which expands out with each breath, continually massaging the sexual center. As we get older our tensions, repressions, guilt, and embarrassments associated with sex, genitals, or masturbation disturb our childlike breath. Gradually, the boundary of the breath moves higher and higher until the breath ceases to reach through the diaphragm to the genitals, or even to the belly. Most adults are breathing into only the top part of their lungs, thus limiting the full benefits of breath. This physical tension takes us away from our deeper breathing to a superficial breathing pattern, holding the fear of vulnerability and receptivity as a barrier. The genitals then lack the vitality and nourishment of the downward inward-flowing breath which pulses continuously into them.
    Hence the significance of reconnecting the breath, belly, and genitals during lovemaking. Relaxation of the entire front and mid-line of the body from the throat, heart, solar plexus down to the low belly and genitals, creates receptivity and vulnerability. You are in immediate contact with the environment, noticing the elusive pungent fragrances of the night, the unexpected joyful bird calls and the welcoming damp cool of an early morning breeze.
    It is surprising how out of touch with the breath most people are. We breathe without any awareness of the breathing process itself even though our very life is dependent on it. In my first massage session, my therapist kept reminding me to breathe. It was so infuriating. When I couldn't stand it a moment longer, I shouted out in anger how much I hated to breathe. So when I began exploring Tantra, I was not a breath enthusiast. But as I began to change the way I made love and bring awareness to my breathing, I began to breathe slowly and deeply. I noticed after a few months that the restriction was softening, the breath was pushing downward closer to my belly and pelvis. It seemed to be creating its own channel toward the genitals. The more awareness I brought to my breath the more I enjoyed the act of breathing. And the more I recognized breathing as an internal life-enhancing massage, the more I wanted to breathe!
    Any awareness you bring to your breathing before making love will make an enormous difference. It may be as simple as being aware of your breath boundary in the shower as you prepare yourself for lovemaking. I noticed that when I was expecting my lover I ran around until the last second, making myself and my home more outwardly inviting. When I began to take five or ten minutes before he arrived to lie down and breathe consciously, I was far more able to welcome him into a pool of tranquillity. Breathing had created receptivity in my body, a femininity that produced a remarkable attractiveness between us.
    Breathing into love
    Before making love, it is beneficial