Free Heart of Tantric Sex by Diana Richardson Page A

if you sit quietly for a while, as in meditation where the awareness is turned inward. Even ten or fifteen minutes is enough. These moments of stillness will give you an opportunity to attune to your body and enter into the present moment. As you sit, either alone or with your lover, close your eyes and pull your attention inward and downward. Feel your breathing, and breathe into the diaphragm. You can also imagine the breath following a circular route in the body starting from the genitals up the spine, over the head and down the front to the genitals. When you focus on your breath, you are energizing and sensitizing your inner environment, which will activate your sex energy as you move into lovemaking.
    The wondrous life-affirming phenomenon of the breath during sex increases presence, ecstasy, and pleasure dramatically. Breathe in such a way that you can hear your own breathing flowing in and out. This helps you focus on your breath more easily, and your partner is able to hear it too. In this way breath can also become a way of speaking, of communing with each other. It sometimes happens that your partner and you spontaneously fall into a harmonious breathing rhythm together, in at the same time, out at the same time. This will feel superb, breathing the glorious present moment.
    It is possible to make a conscious effort to breathe in this way together, which we can call "simultaneous breathing." Listen to your lover's breath and start to tune into his or her breathing rhythm, and begin breathing out and in together. Be relaxed so as to create rapport, not tension, and this will awaken the sex energy. Whatever you try with breathing, it is always important to not make it an effort. If you worry about whether you should be having an in or an out breath, or whether you are in harmony or not, you will revert to your mind and miss the experience of your own breath. Remember, your consciousness of the breath itself and not the act of doing it will make the difference.
    Forming one breathing body
    Another way of breathing which we can call "synchronous breathing" may arise during lovemaking too, where one partner breathes in while the other breathes out. The breath moves in a kind of circle and it has a profound influence on the sex energy. This breathing happens very naturally when two people are deeply merged in sexual union. It penetrates your core as two form one breathing body in profound empathy. To breathe intentionally in this way, however, takes some mental effort, and can take you away from the immediacy of the moment. But try it for fun anyway, and see what happens. Keep the breathing deep and slow. If you like, once you have the rhythm of this synchronous breathing established, you can then enhance it by imagining a circular route for the energies. The man breathes in through his heart and out of his penis. The woman breathes in through her vagina and out through her heart. Imagine the breath to be golden light as it moves around in a circle. This can be particularly beautiful when the lovers are sitting up together, the woman's legs embracing the pelvis of her man. This intimate exchange where the chest and breasts meet enhances the experience of polarity within the bodies.
    Although breathing through the nose is more refined as it affects the meditative and subtle body centers, mouth breathing may help you to be more fully aware in the body. Breathing through the mouth affects the lower body centers and the emotions, so feel free to use whichever style of breath works for you in the moment. If you are having trouble "being here," distracted or upset about something else perhaps, I would recommend breathing through the mouth, since it can be useful to clear the emotions, which otherwise limit sensitivity and presence. If you or your partner are swallowing a lot, it usually indicates that an emotion of some kind is on the rise, and the swallowing is an unconscious attempt at repressing it. If you feel the urge to