Free Meant For Me by Erin McCarthy

stupid, it’s lame.” She blew her hair out of her eyes. “But okay. You’re clearly going to do whatever you want. And I can’t really say much about that. I’ve been known to do that myself.”
    “Thanks. I guess.” I rubbed my jaw. “I don’t want to hurt Chloe. And I swear I’m not playing with her for my own amusement. I’m just… drifting, Aub. I don’t know what I’m doing. Then I see someone like her and I think, she manages to figure her shit out, but I can’t? It’s stupid.”
    “Ethan. No one has their shit figured out. This is a fact. Are you happy bartending? If you are, then fuck ‘em.”
    “I don’t think happy is the right word for it. I’m managing.”
    Emma had fallen asleep and Aubrey was shifting her.
    “Want me to take her and put her in her crib?” I asked.
    “Sure. I’m not going to turn down anything that can allow me to go back to bed faster.” She kissed Emma’s head. “Goodnight, angel, sleep until morning and have sweet dreams.” She kissed her again. “That one is from Daddy.”
    It made me ask the question I’d been curious about. “Are you happy? With Riker?”
    Her face relaxed and her voice went soft. “Yeah. Very happy.”
    “Good.” That was all I needed to see and hear. It was clear she was and my throat tightened. I was glad to hear it. If I was honest, I was jealous too. Petty, but there it was. I took Emma from her and cradled her. Her arms and legs were slack. “How is a baby this small so heavy? She feels like a box of lead.” It was amazing that she didn’t even react to the transfer at all. Her breathing was soundless, her lips still sucking in her sleep.
    “She’s pretty packed solid, I have to admit.” Aubrey yawned and stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She shuffled out of the kitchen.
    Testing Emma’s weight in my arms, I settled her into a better hold and followed my sister down the hall. Emma’s nursery had a stars and moon glowing nightlight on one wall, giving the room a soft glow. It had a jungle theme and I deposited Emma down onto a zebra striped crib sheet. Leave it to Aubrey to be anti-pink. “Goodnight, kid. I hope you don’t dream a lion is chasing you.” There wasn’t a blanket in there, but I figured it was summer. She wasn’t going to get cold.
    With one last slide of my finger over her silky, plump cheek I retreated. In the hallway I looked at my phone and saw that Chloe had texted me links to several videos. Curious, I went to the couch and sank down, clicking the first one. It was Chloe playing at some kind of recital or event.
    It amazed me that she felt comfortable sending that. Her insecurity or anxiety or whatever it was clearly didn’t extend to her abilities as a pianist. Nor did she mind me seeing her play obviously. Plugging my phone into headphones I dug out of my bag, I shoved them in and pushed play. The music filled my ears. It wasn’t anything I recognized but I could see that her fingers were crossing the keys rapidly. The music was intense, haunting. But it wasn’t really the sound she was producing, though that was extraordinary. It was the confidence she clearly had. It changed her face.
    She looked her age in mastery of the piano, mature and beautiful, capable of stirring shit inside me that didn’t need to be stirred. I wondered how those delicate and long fingers would feel stroking over my cock. Would she squeeze my shaft and work me soft, then hard, then soft? I started getting an erection and I shifted on the couch. My thoughts weren’t supposed to take that detour, but once there, I couldn’t shake them. What would her lips feel like on mine? Would she make a sound if I ate her pussy until she came? It wouldn’t be fucking with a girl like Chloe. It would be intimate.
    Exactly what I wasn’t looking for.
    And what I didn’t deserve and wasn’t entitled to take.
    I couldn’t give her what she would want or need.
    Hell, I didn’t even know if she was attracted to me or not.