Free This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids: A Question & Answer Guide to Everyday Life by Dannielle Owens-Reid, Kristin Russo Page B

fairly certain that they may have a harder time with the information. Talk to your kid and tell them that you will do everything in your power to make the situation as easy as possible. In those first moments, let them know you will stand by their side and help them as they navigate their feelings. A loving and safe environment is crucial in those first stages of coming out, so keeping this between you and your child for a short time may be the best decision. When the time comes that they are ready to have that conversation (or have you initiate that conversation), the main thing to keep consistent is your support of your child. Allow your significant other the room to feel the many feelings that may come along with this information. Remember that their initial reaction is not always indicative of how things will be forever. This is a very hard place to be in, but as much as you can, return to your child with support, and let your significant other know that you are also there to listen, to dialogue, and to figure out the best path forward for everyone involved. Talk to your partner about your family as a whole, and ensure that they know this isn’t parent versus child.
    Mediating between your child and your significant other, however, should not be a permanent solution. It is fine for you to help both of them as much as you are capable, but we all have our limits. While you are in this mediating space, make sure you have someone else to speak with about your situation. Whether it involves attending PFLAG meetings or simply relying on your best friend or a close family member, you should not have to go through this alone. After a time, this will have to be something that is between your child and your partner. You can still show your support for your child and remain as patient as possible with your significant other, but you need to also remember to take care of yourself.
    Q: What will people think?
    I remember one day when, on a run to the post office, I wore a T-shirt that said the name of my organization, Everyone Is Gay. Now, I don’t generally wear rainbows or blast my gayness all over the place, but I had just gotten the shirt in the mail, and I was so excited that I didn’t think about it at all before heading on my way. Since everyone is already in a bad mood at the post office, I was convinced I would be scoffed at, whispered about, and made to feel uncomfortable. However, as is often the case in life, I was pleasantly surprised. When I walked up to the counter, the woman behind the desk screamed (literally, she screamed), “Everyone is gay? That’s true! I’m gay! I’m married to a man but what I am saying is that I love rainbows and I love gay people!” We began talking,she asked me more about my organization, and I wound up bringing her a T-shirt of her own a few weeks later! Up until that moment, I had really forgotten that people often surprise you
.
    —
Dannielle
    A: The truth is, you can never know what another person might think of your kid’s sexuality until you are smack in the middle of telling them. Feeling a bit uneasy about some of those first conversations is completely normal; as the parent of a gay child, you, also, will have the experience of coming out. This can be an incredibly helpful experience when it comes to relating to your child, because a lot of your initial worries are exactly what they are feeling when they come out to people in their life. We often think that we have to be very serious in communicating our child’s sexuality to others, but that isn’t always the case. While you can’t control or dictate what another person will think of your child’s sexuality, you can approach these discussions with a certain amount of levity. Communicate with others based on the way you are feeling. If you feel confused and you express that you need someone to listen and advise, the person you are speaking to will likely pick up on those needs. If you sit them down and give them a somber