Free The Strip Club Dating Survival Guide by Jason Keeler

phone in the car if possible
Leave overly specific jewelry [like a wedding ring] at home
Take a moment to make sure your shoes are clean and serviceable
     
    It is essential that you present the safest, most comfortable, most pleasant presence you possibly can pull off. Making sure you are clean, smell enjoyable without coming off like a French whorehouse, and don’t have tons of crap falling out of your pockets is a key part of that. Not having onboard distractions, like a cell phone are another.
     
    After all, are you honestly such a pivotal dude that someone out there is truly going to need to get a hold of you at the club? Why the hell would you want them to anyway? Removing clues to the reality of your shit-life outside of the club fantasy, like a wedding ring or other identifying items, are yet another. Go in clean, in more ways than one, and you will find that you come out the same way.

DRESS FOR SUCCESS
    There’s no need to go update your tux ( as if you even have one, you fucking barbarians ) in order to walk into your average strip joint, but unless you like hanging out at total dives frequented by gang members and bikers, I would advise you to dress up a little. It’s supposed to be a gentleman’s club, a place where men with means and character can meet women who are seeking the same.
     
    Some casual slacks, a well fitted shirt neatly tucked in, a decent belt properly worn, matching socks that cost more than $8 for a 6-pack ( and aren’t white ) and real shoes, in good condition, and with a bit of shine on them will do wonders for your appearance.
     
    Note that when I say, shirt I am referring to an actual shirt, one of those things that usually button up the front, have cuffs, and may be worn with a tie. There are many variations on the basic shirt concept, often worn without a tie, that convey the correct image anyway, such as the iconic Indiana Jones adventure style , or modern safari style . Polo shirts also qualify, if you’re into golf or, you know….polo (ah, but who truly has time for polo these days, know what I mean?)
     
    T-shirts, however, do not qualify. T-shirts, properly speaking, are underwear. As in they are meant to be worn under an actual shirt. I don’t care how incredible the trendy “all-over” tribal design is or how much it cost you to purchase from Ed Hardy or the Affliction store, a t-shirt is fucking underwear, and you look like an idiot walking around in an intimate, social situation wearing one.
     
    Well, you’d look ridiculous unless you’ve been invited to a pajama party at the Playboy Mansion , in which case wearing your underwear might be ok but since you’re actually at a pajama party I recommend wearing actual pajamas.
     
    You’re all a bunch of fucking savages, you know that?
     
    I also highly recommend owning and wearing a  jacket . A so-called sport coat , in its own way, is perfect for this kind of thing, but any decent, matching blazer  will do. If you like, you can always wear it into the club and then remove it at your table. A jacket hanging off the back of your club chair allows the dancers to see that you have a little more going on and take shit more seriously than the asshole at the bar in shorts, flip-flops and a backwards ball cap.
     
    A jacket can also make a handy place for storing extra junk from your pants pockets when you head back to get dances. Put your extra shit in the jacket pockets, and take it with you to the VIP Room .  You can drape it across the dance area furniture that you are using so that nothing goes missing, while simultaneously not having your car keys ground painfully into your thigh every time the stripper puts her weight on you.
     
    Ties are optional, and may make you look a little too dressed up. No need to make yourself unapproachable by accident. Also, a tie can serve as a target for drunken strippers who think that yanking you around by the tie is both fun and endearing. Having a tie knotted around your neck