Free Dearest Rose by Rowan Coleman

her feet in the world as an adult, it was Shona who made her realise that her life wasn’t going to be an endless stream of nights alone in her big empty house, that if she wanted it there would be travel, university, boys, fun, a whole world waiting for her whenever she was ready to explore it. That there was more to her than her family, more to her future than her past. It had been exactly at that moment of realisation that Rose had met Richard and fallen madly in love with him. Within months she had left the café to get married. Caught up in her husband and the life he created for the two of them alone – where Rose existed only for him, where for most of those early years she had wanted to exist only for him, allowing him to decide they weren’t ready for children, what she did, where she worked, what she wore, even how she felt and thought – Rose had embraced every single one of his desires willingly. As a consequence she had barely seen Shona for years. When they had come across each other again, it was at exactly the right time for both of them, each equally grateful and in need of the other, each changed by the life she’d learnt, too late, had conquered her instead of vice versa.
    ‘I suppose he wants you to get in touch. Trot back home like a good little wifey.’
    ‘Yes,’ Rose said. That was something of an understatement.
    ‘Where are you, babe?’ Shona asked her softly, hesitantly, as if she didn’t really want to know.
    Rose understood her friend’s reservations. Listening to Richard’s messages and speaking to Shona was making all this real. Up until this point it had been a sort of a dream, a flit in the night, an eccentric landlady, finding her father and Frasier all at once. Even Maddie settling in and getting on with people she barely knew. It was as if as soon as she stepped away from Richard, her life just fell neatly into place, and everything was as it should be. But that wasn’t how it was; she couldn’t just pretend she hadn’t been married for thirteen years and now she’d changed her mind. Richard was coming, he would find her, and when he did, Rose couldn’t imagine what would happen next, but she knew it would be bad.
    ‘If I tell you where I am, you’ll think I’m insane.’
    ‘Well, according to your darling husband, that’s a given,’ Shona said. ‘Where are you? Say it’s somewhere good, without an extradition treaty.’
    ‘I’m in Millthwaite,’ Rose said, bracing herself.
    ‘Millthwaite? Which part of the Costa del … fucking hell, Rose, you went to your fucking postcard!’ Rose braced herself against the string of expletives that blasted into her ear, as Shona tried to come to terms with what she had done.
    ‘Well, yes, I know but … I had to go somewhere, Shona, somewhere far away, and it was the only place I could think of.’
    ‘Not, you know, London or Leeds or New York?’ Shona asked her, before adding, ‘
Millthwaite
, Rose? What, did you think Mr Perfect, whatever his name is, would be sitting on a bench in the village green waiting for you?’
    ‘Well, the thing is,’ Rose said, biting her lip, ‘he sort of is.’
    ‘What the fuck!’ Shona exclaimed.
    ‘He’s in Millthwaite a lot … visiting my dad, who lives up the road.’
    ‘Did Dickhead give you those antipsychotic drugs he’s been threatening you with yet?’ Shona asked her, with her usual acidic bluntness.
    Rose was used to Shona’s way, knowing that no matter how harsh Shona might sound, it was only because she was, as far as Rose knew, the only person in the entire world who really cared about her. And that was Shona in a nutshell: she spent her life roaring at the world, but in reality there could not be a kinder, sweeter, more loyal or more thoughtful best friend. It was just hard to spot that sometimes when Shona was in full sail.
    ‘You know, the ones that make you hallucinate,’ Shona continued. ‘Are you sure you’re in Millthwaite, not gibbering on the floor of