Free The Queen & the Homo Jock King by TJ Klune

with the tale that was the Love Ballad of Paul and Vince hadn’t really prepared her for the sheer level of sugary fluff that was shoved down her throat.
    But that was okay. If anyone deserved something shoved down their throat, it was Paul.
    I was happy for him.
    Most of the time.
    Now was not one of those times.
    “You vile betrayer,” I hissed at him, looming over them. I was pretty sure I looked absolutely amazing and intimidating, like an Amazonian drag princess warrior. Or something.
    “Helena.” Paul smiled up at me. “You look amazing as always and your show was as perfect as it’s ever been. There was absolutely nothing I would change about it. Also? Your ass looks amazing in that skirt. Is it new?”
    Paul knew that a drag queen’s greatest weakness was sincere compliments from the heart. He fought dirty.
    “Why thank you,” I said. “The energy just felt good in there tonight, and this old thing? Nah, I just pulled this out of my closet and threw it on. It really isn’t anything special— wait a goddamn minute .”
    “Shit,” Paul said. “I thought that would work.”
    “Has it ever worked?” Kori asked, sounding amused.
    “In the years that I’ve known Sandy? Seventeen times.”
    “Stand up and face me like a man!”
    “Said the drag queen,” Vince said. “Which is awesome.”
    Paul stood up, which I gave him credit for. Most people don’t want to come face to face with a raging queen. It usually ended in running mascara, torn acrylic nails, and glitter in odd places. “Why are you pissed?” he asked.
    “Because!” I said shrilly.
    “Because….”
    “You were standing next to that… that… man .”
    “Oh boy.”
    “And you invited him to brunch . Paul, brunch is a sacred institution with limited invites, as you are well aware. The fact that I already allowed this mistake to happen once with no repercussions is obviously as much my fault as it is yours. I have failed you as a best friend, and I’m sorry. I should have been quicker to punish you so such things would never happen again.”
    “I literally have no idea where you’re going with this,” Paul said.
    “I think this is how her sex dream started,” Vince whispered to Kori. “Because Helena had a sex dream about me.”
    “I know, Vince,” Kori said. “I was there, remember?”
    Vince shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t remember much about that night because I’d been asleep and then Paul gave me a really sloppy blow job afterward.”
    “Vince!” Paul snapped. “Oversharing!”
    Vince pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. “It was sloppy. And awesome.”
    “Thank you, baby.”
    Vince grinned.
    “Does he have a gag reflex?” Kori whispered.
    “Used to.” Vince waggled his eyebrows.
    “Huh,” I said begrudgingly. “Impressive.”
    Paul shrugged. “I’m good like that.”
    “You know what else you’re good for?”
    “What?”
    “ Nothing ,” I snarled at him.
    “Ooh.” He rolled his eyes. “Well played.”
    “Paul!”
    “Helena!”
    “I don’t want him there!”
    “You made that pretty clear when you threw his money back at his feet,” Paul said. “Which, honestly, was bitchy. Even for you.”
    Yeah. And maybe I felt slightly bad about that. For fuck’s sake. “He was playing me.”
    “How?”
    “I don’t know! I’m not one to understand the deviousness of the mind of a homo jock, much less their king . But he was up to something, I just know it. And I’m going to get to the bottom of it, mark my words.”
    “He would have gotten away with it too,” Vince said, “if it hadn’t been for you meddling queens.”
    “I’m teaching him sarcasm,” Paul said as I gaped at Vince.
    “I’m learning to be a bitch,” Vince said proudly.
    “You’re definitely learning from the right people.” Kori patted his hand.
    “And it’s just brunch,” Paul said. “He’s Vince’s brother and he doesn’t have family here aside from him. Well, not that counts, anyway.” And I had to give