Free Forever...: a novel by Judy Blume

can't … you're too dangerous."
    "I'll be good … I promise."

He let go of my arms and I wrapped them around him and we kissed again.
    "You're beautiful," he said, looking down at me.
    "Don't say things like that … "
    "Why, do they embarrass you?"
    "Yes."

    "Okay … you're ugly! You're so ugly you make me want to puke." He turned away and leaned over the side of the bed making this terrible retching noise.
    "Michael … you're crazy … stop it … I can't stand that!"
    "Okay."
    We lay next to each other kissing, and soon Michael unbuttoned my sweater and I sat up and unhooked my bra for him. While I slipped out of both, Michael pulled his sweater over his head. Then he held me.
    "You feel so good," he said, kissing me everywhere. "I love to feel you next to me. You're as soft as Tasha."
    I started to laugh.
    "What?" Michael asked.
    "Nothing … "
    "I love you, Kath."
    "And I love you," I said, "even though you're an outsy ."
    "What's an outsy ?"
    "Your belly button sticks out," I said, tracing it with my fingers.
    "That's not the only thing that sticks out."
    "Michael … we're talking about belly buttons."
    "You are … "
    "I was explaining that you're an outsy and I'm an insy … you see how mine goes in?"
    "Umm … " he said, kissing it
    "Do belly buttons have a taste?" I asked.
    "Yours does … it's delicious … like the rest of you." He unbuckled my jeans, then his own.
    "Michael … I'm not sure … please … "
    "Shush … don't say anything."
    "But Michael … "
    "Like always, Kath … that's all … "
    We both left on our underpants but after a minute Michael was easing mine down and then his fingers began exploring me. I let my hands wander across his stomach and down his legs and finally I began to
    stroke Ralph.
    "Oh, yes … yes … " I said, as Michael made me come. And he came too. We covered up with the patchwork quilt and rested. Michael fell asleep for a while and I watched him, thinking the better you know a person the more you can love him. Do two people ever reach the point where they know absolutely everything there is to know about each other? I leaned over and touched his hair. He didn't move.
    The next night Michael picked me up at 7:30 and we headed straight for the apartment. I knew we would. Neither one of us could wait to be alone together. And when we were naked, in each other's arms, I wanted to do everything—I wanted to feel him inside me. I don't know if he sensed that or not but when he whispered, "Please, Kath … please let's keep going … " I told him, "Yes, Michael … yes … but not here … not on the bed."
    "Yes … here … " he said, moving over me.
    "No, we can't … I might bleed."
    He rolled away from me. "You're right … I forgot about that … I'll get something." He came back with a beach towel. "Down here," I called, because he couldn't find me in the dark.
    "On the floor?" he asked.
    "Yes."
    "The floor's too hard."
    "I don't mind … and we won't have to worry about stains."
    "This is crazy."
    "Please, Michael … just give me the towel … I hope it's not a good one." He lay down next to me. "It's freezing down here," he said.
    "I know … "
    He jumped up and grabbed the quilt off the bed. We snuggled under it. "That's better." He put his arms around me.
    "Look," I said, "you might as well know … I'm scared out of my mind."
    "Me too"
    "But you've at least had some experience."
    "Not with anyone I love."

    "Thank you," I said, kissing the side of his face.
    He ran his hands up and down my body but nothing happened. I guess I was too nervous.
    "Michael … do you have something?" I asked.
    "What for?" he said, nibbling my neck.
    "You know … "
    "Didn't you finish your period?"
    "Last week … but I'm not taking any chances."
    "If you're thinking about VD I promise I'm fine."
    "I'm thinking about getting pregnant. Every woman has a different cycle."
    "Okay … okay … " He stood up. "I've got a rubber in my wallet … if I can just find it." He looked around for