Free Barbarian's Mate by Ruby Dixon

for the rest of my life.
    It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that it’s just a dream. That I’m giving up on everything I’ve ever hoped for.
    My back aches from the hard bed and I shift, trying to get comfortable. As I do, a bit of dust falls onto my face and I cough, sitting up. Not the most comfortable place to relax. I gaze around the room, vaguely irritated that I’ve come to no decision.
    As I do, I start to feel guilty. There’s a seat built into one of the walls across from me, and it’s large and obviously sa-khui sized and not human sized. There’s a door off to the side and while it’s mostly collapsed, I imagine it to lead to a private bathroom, again sa-khui sized. What was it the computer called their people?
    Sakh. Right.
    They didn’t want to come here. From what I remember of the stories Georgie told me, they were going on a nature retreat to another planet - or something along those lines - when they crashed here and couldn’t leave.
    They didn’t have a choice in how their lives went from there. They just sucked it up and carried on. They made do. They had children, and they lived their lives, and they did the best they could with what they’d been given.
    I smooth one glove over my furry leggings, thinking.
    Maybe I need to suck it up, too. Maybe I need to accept that, like the alien ancestors that crashed here, we don’t always get a choice in our future, and we need to make the best of things.
    That means taking Haeden to my bed and getting rid of the resonance problem. It means hitching my wagon to his for the rest of my life, and while that doesn’t sound fun…right now I’m not exactly having fun, either.
    And there will be a baby. I want that baby. If nothing else, I’ll have a child to love and cuddle, a child of my own.
    Hello, silver lining.
    I get to my feet, and nearly collapse again. My legs are weak and trembling, another side effect of the stupid resonance. I just want to feel strong again. I want to not want Haeden anymore. All the lust I feel for him? It’s artificial. It’s meaningless, and I hate that it controls me.
    But…maybe it won’t be so bad if he is a good kisser. No one ever seems to kiss me, and I’d love for just one really wonderful kiss. I don’t think I’ll get it from Haeden, but I can’t help but hope a little.
    Time to get this show on the road, I guess. I suck in a deep breath, hold on to the wall for support, and choose my path.

7
    HAEDEN
    J o-see is gone for much of the afternoon, and her absence gnaws at me. I know she is in bowels of the Elders’ Cave, and she is safe, but I want to see her. I need to. Rukh, luckily, is not talkative, and we enjoy a companionable, if surly, silence between us as we sharpen weapons and tend to the fire. I feel as if I should be doing something - hunting, watching over Jo-see, providing for her, taking care of her needs - but I remain by the fire and tend to my things instead, waiting for her. A hunter’s life is such that he must always be repairing his gear. There are always fish hooks to be made out of bone, a spear-head gone blunt with use that must be sharpened, knives that must have their edges honed, nets to be repaired, straps that have grown weak with use, and shoes to be mended. Normally I find comfort in the endless chores, but today it makes me impatient.
    I snap a delicate fish hook with my fingers and snarl, casting the shards into the coals of the fire. “Ridiculous.”
    Rukh looks over at me with a narrow-eyed gaze.
    I glare at him. He says nothing, but I can imagine what he is thinking. That is the third fish hook I have carved - and broken - in a row. My focus is on anything but the tasks before me. Instead, I worry about Jo-see. She has been gone for a long time. Did she hurt herself? Fall? Is she bleeding and in trouble even now? I surge to my feet. “I need to go.”
    “Go where?” Rukh pokes at the fire and turns the spit, roasting a quill-beast. His mate likes her meat