Free RICHARD (A BAD BOY ROMANCE) by Nikki Wild

most days,
especially because… I mean, I can’t really talk about it.”

 
    “You can talk about
anything with me. I won’t judge you, Jessica. I promise,” I said, squeezing her
slender fingers in mine. It made me feel horrible that I’d never made myself
open to Jessica to confide in me, to tell me when something so awful as being
abused by your own boyfriend. Her face softened slightly and she gave a faint,
almost imperceptible, nod.

 
    “The truth is that I
actually liked some of the things he did to me,” she said, her voice soft. “I
liked the way he’d order me to do things, making me obey his commands. He made
me so horny that sometimes, I almost regretted not letting him have sex with
me… but I wanted it to mean something. I know that makes me sound like some kind of freak, but I can’t
really help it.”

 
    “I don’t think you’re a
freak, Jess,” I said, squeezing her hand again reassuringly. I knew my sister
must have some urges, but I never imagined dominance play would be one of them.
It made sense, I supposed, the rigid control she had over every aspect of her
life needed to be let loose somehow. “Those kinds of things are completely
normal. There are whole clubs dedicated to that kind of stuff. You like being
dominated, so what? That doesn’t make you a freak. We all need to give up
control, sometimes. As long as you’re being safe and have someone who
understands how to stay in the lines…”

 
    “It isn’t just the
control,” she whispered, cutting me off. She glanced up as a waiter passed by
our booth. “It was… some of the hitting turned me on, too.”

 
    I felt like I didn’t really
know my stepsister at all. The more she talked, the less I was sure of when it
came to what I’d come to know over the last couple of years. I’d figured her
for a bit of a freak under that librarian blouse and horn-rimmed glasses. But
this?

 
    “You really enjoyed how he
hurt you?” I asked.

 
    “Not usually,” Jessica
answered, shrinking a bit, as though I might ridicule her for her desires. “But
there were times where he’d hurt me in certain ways to get me to do things that
felt so good. It was freeing…”

 
    I sat quietly for a moment,
weighing everything that she’s just told me and thinking about how best to go
forward. I’d come here to be close to her, but now she tells me that she
actually enjoyed the way he hurt her.
I knew there was nothing inherently wrong with enjoying a little pain with sex,
but to hear it from her lips felt like my world had done a complete one-hundred-and-eighty
degree turn.

 
    Michael
didn’t respect her ,
I thought, glancing at her in the momentary silence that had fallen between
her. And if I don’t do something, then
she’ll just go back to him, or find someone else who treats her the same way.

 
    “You don’t have to be with
men like Michael if you want to be dominated,” I said after another member of
the staff walked by. “Submission isn’t subjugation. You have every right to be
respected and cared for while you’re fulfilling your fantasies.”

 
    Jessica turned her gaze
away from me, her eyes downcast toward the table as another wave of tears
spilled down her cheek in tiny rivers. I could see the shame radiating from
her, the fact that she was even talking to me about this making everything that much worse.

 
    “I know that I haven’t been
the best brother to you,” I said, moving a little closer to her along the bench
seats. “In fact, I don’t blame you for all the shit you’ve probably thought
about me. I was a massive dick from the moment we met… I didn’t want to have a
sister, but in some ways I think it’s better that we see one another as
something different.”

 
    “What do you mean?” Jess
asked, looking up at me quizzically, her soft lips creased into a frown.

 
    “I don’t want anyone
treating you the way Michael treated you,” I explained, choosing my words