Free Luke's Absolution (The Colloway Brothers Book 3) by K.L. Kreig

direction.
    “Okay, let’s eat!” Livia announces. Gray jumps like he’s just been tazed, pulling something from the oven. Livia’s shooing us into the dining room, where the table is dressed impeccably and everyone starts taking their seats. Well, by everyone, I mean Asher and Alyse. Addy is apparently waiting to see where I’m going to sit before she chooses. No doubt she plans on sitting as far away from me as possible.
    And I decide I’ll let her. I pull out a chair on one of the ends and take a seat, giving her an out. Everything I do is strategic. I’ve chosen this particular spot because I can easily see everyone else at the table at all times, which means that Addy has chosen unwisely. Now, I’ll be watching her every move throughout the meal. She would have been better off sitting beside me.
    “Wow, Livia, this smells great,” I compliment, taking a giant inhale of the fragrant vegetable lasagna she’s set on the table.
    “Thanks, Luke. It’s probably not as good as yours, but…”
    My gaze strays to Addy, who is watching me intently, confusion wrinkling her forehead. Yeah, sweetheart…I have many hidden talents. All of which I’ll be showing you very soon.
    The moment our gazes connect, though, her eyes shift away and I’m left feeling strangely bereft. Another emotion that’s confusing as hell.
    “Nah. I’m sure it’s great. I don’t cook much anymore.”
    I gave up cooking the last couple of years. Not a lot of fun when you’re just cooking for one. When I look back on my childhood, my mother teaching us to cook is one of my fondest memories. It was a bonding experience every family should try.
    Food is passed, silverware clatters, and everyone digs in. For the first five minutes of the meal, I hardly take my eyes off Addy, trying to catch her gaze again. It’s fruitless. She’s intent on ignoring me.
    The minute I focus on my plate, however, I feel her weighty stare exactly the way I did ten years ago when she didn’t think I knew she watched me from the stairs of her father’s house. I haven’t lived this long in the life I did by not honing my sixth sense and it was pretty fucking sharp even back then.
    I don’t react. I don’t lift my eyes. I don’t curl my lips in a knowing smile.
    I savor it. I bathe in it. I suck it in. I relish in the fact she’s as drawn to me as I am to her, even though she’ll die before she admits it to me or anyone else.
    All during and after dinner, the conversation is light, jovial. The guys talk about sports. The girls chatter about babies and weddings. It’s nice to be with my brothers again. I’ve missed them more than I realized. More than I would previously admit.
    I sip my second beer, conscious of the fact I have to drive us home. I rarely let go and let myself get rip-roaring drunk, the slip with Bigs a couple of weeks ago being an exception. Control and all that…I hate it slipping.
    Sitting back, I look around at my family. The “couples” at the table sit next to each other, forcing Addy to take the other end. I notice Asher lean over to place a heated kiss on Alyse’s lips and I can’t help the unwelcome twinge of jealousy that flash fires through my blood.
    I wish like hell that Addy and I could be here as a couple instead of practically archenemies. But I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing relationship wise. My brothers are tender where I’m hard. Refined where I’m rough. Boardwise to my streetwise. Would Addy even want the likes of me for more than just a roll in the sack?
    I do, but somehow I know I’m going to fuck things up epically. I’m going to end up hurting her and I’ll just as soon cut off my own dick before I do that. I wish I could be the man she needs, but I stopped wishing a long time ago. Put wishes in one hand and shit in the other and see which weighs more. Shit always wins.
    Suddenly the hypocrisy of what I’m doing hits me like a Mack fucking truck. I have no idea why I’m trying to pull her into