Free Beyond Ecstasy (Beyond #8) by Kit Rocha

don't think anyone's seen him like this since — “There was someone else once.”
    “Someone—” Alya cut off with a sigh. “Who was it? Luna?”
    The easy answer, but it wasn't the whole truth. Luna's slip was a piece of the puzzle, one Hawk had laid out for her himself, back in Four. Not having you is bad. Not getting to keep you would be worse. “Don't worry, she didn't tell me anything private.”
    “I wish it was private, for his sake.” Alya gripped her shoulder. “Ask him, Jeni. You should know. Because it's not a pretty story, and he's the only one who doesn't come out of it looking like a villain—but that's never been how he saw it.”
    “I will.” It was a promise she could make, because it was as much for her as it was for Hawk. If she was going to wear his collar, belong to him, then they had to be able to talk about things that had hurt them. It was the only safe way to exist in that space between sex and control, desire and pain.
    “Good.” She ran her hand down to Jeni's and squeezed it. “Come on. I'll show you our setup for making medicine.”
    “Thanks, Alya.” Jeni lingered for a moment anyway, just in case. Her hesitation was rewarded when Hawk turned, spotted them, and lifted his hand to wave.
    She waved back, wishing they were back at the rally, hidden away in that little grove of trees. Sex was simple, easy. No matter how emotionally charged it was, in the end, it was about physical intimacy, giving and receiving pleasure.
    There was nothing simple or easy about confronting the past.

    She'd almost given up on Hawk when the pebble hit the guestroom window.
    Jeni slid from beneath the covers and tiptoed across the floor. When she parted the curtains, he grinned up at her, one eyebrow raised in teasing challenge.
    God help her, she couldn't resist that smile. She opened the window, wincing when it squeaked loudly, and stuck her head out. “You're late.”
    “I had to make sure the coast was clear.” His grin only got wider. “C'mon, Jeni. Sneak downstairs so I can steal you away.”
    There was no way she'd say no, and he knew it. She left the window open as she stripped off her nightgown and grabbed the sundress she'd laid out for the next morning.
    Carrying her shoes in one hand, she crept down the stairs, careful to avoid the one that creaked. The last thing she needed was to start a chain reaction of crying babies and Hawk's sleepy-eyed relatives spilling out of their bedrooms.
    He met her at the front door, holding it open as she slipped through and easing it shut in silence. His fingers brushed her shoulder and slid down as he leaned in close enough to whisper against her lips. “You'll be cold like this.”
    Was there anything more delicious than when he unbent enough to tease her? “No, I won't,” she whispered back. “You dragged me out of bed, so it's your job to keep me warm.”
    “I can do that.” His kiss was the barest caress, another tease. His lips found her chin next, then her jaw, and traced a slow, lazy path down her throat as he sank to one knee. Silently, he tugged one shoe from her grasp and held it for her.
    The night air had nothing to do with the goose bumps on her flesh as she slipped her feet into the flats. “I'm glad you came. I missed you.”
    “Nothing could keep me away.” Hawk caught her hand as he rose and twined their fingers together as thunder rumbled overhead. “Come on. I don't know how much time we have.”
    It didn't take Jeni long to figure out what he meant. In the middle of their sprint through a field, the sky opened up. Rain pelted them, unexpectedly warm but relentless. Unforgiving.
    They were drenched by the time Hawk pushed open the barn door and ushered her into its dry, dark refuge. Squeezing out her braid sent another torrent of water rushing down her arms, and Jeni bit her lip to hold back a laugh. “This is sexy,” she said as she turned. “We both look like drowned—”
    The words died on her tongue. Hawk didn't