Free Chaos by Alexis Noelle

the girls, I want to text him.
    I need a damn intervention.
    Usually when a guy claims a girl, she goes and gets her property patch tattooed on, but I haven’t made my appointment yet. I’m not really sure why I’m putting it off. I guess because it’s so permanent. That’s why the guys take claiming a girl so serious, because it comes with a lot of expectations and commitment.
    I never would have seen myself here a few months ago; hell, I wouldn’t have even seen myself here a month ago. I fought for so long to not be a part of this life as an old lady that the idea of the patch tattoo freaks me out.
    “Hello! Earth to Tracie!” I look over to see Lucy and Nikki looking at me. “You join the land of the living again, girl? Come on and let’s start the movie before preggers gets tired and falls asleep.”
    We start to laugh, as Lucy’s face gets red. She stands up almost knocking over the plate her pizza is on. “Listen, bitches, stop picking on me! It’s my bachelorette, I’m as big as the Titanic, I’m eating a pizza with fish and eggs on it, and I can’t even get drunk. The next one of you whores who cracks a joke will be sorry because I will sit on top of you and suffocate you with my whale of a body.” She slams down on the couch before picking up her plate and taking a bite of her pizza.
    I hold my breath and bite my lip trying everything in my power not to laugh. Nikki leans over and whispers in my ear. “Baby rage, the struggle is real.”
    I lose it, bursting out in laughter. I’m laughing so hard that there isn’t even any noise coming out of my mouth. I’m just starting to catch my breath when something hits me right in the face. I open my eyes to see a piece of Lucy’s pizza sitting in front of me. “Did you just throw the pizza from hell at my face?”
    “Yep, and trust me when I say you don’t want to see what comes next.” She pushes play on the remote before turning away from me.
    Pregnant women are no joke when they are pissed off. I decide to stop poking fun at Lucy for the rest of the night, fearing for my life.
    ***
    Today is Lucy’s wedding, and I couldn’t be happier for her. With everything she and Whip have been through they deserve this. She woke up this morning and started running around like a crazy person. All she kept saying was how her hair hated her life, and that no amount of makeup could fix what the baby stole from her for the past six months.
    I look over at Nikki. “Should we try to help?”
    “I don’t know. I’m kinda scared if I get in her way she’ll run me over. Maybe we just wait for instructions, like good little soldiers.” She shrugs her shoulders.
    “Agreed. After last night I have no doubt that she’ll resort to violence if provoked.”
    Lucy runs by us again but comes to a quick stop. “What are you two whispering about?”
    I swear she has these crazy eyes, and it’s scary. It’s a mixture of the worst bridezilla’s episode mixed with a caged animal at feeding time.
    “Nothing,” we say at the same time.
    “Yeah, like I buy that. Do we have any food? Other than that disgusting pizza I had last night.” She scrunches her face.
    The disgusting pizza that she ate five slices of. I swear I will never understand pregnant women. She loved that shit last night.
    “I can go grab something,” I volunteer eager to get out of the house.
    She nods before telling me what she wants. I ask Nikki if she wants anything and she gives me a death glare. She’s just jealous that she didn’t come up with an exit strategy first.
    I practically run out of the house, giving a nod to the prospect as he gets on his bike to follow me. My phone rings on the drive over to the store and I smile when I see that it’s Torch.
    “Hey, I didn’t think you guys would be up this early.” I can’t help the huge smile on my face, but I’m glad he can’t see it.
    “Yeah, well unfortunately Lucy wanted this shit to be early so it’s not like we had a choice.”