Free The Years Between by Leanne Davis Page A

completely settled, normal Jessie. He felt the anxiety unsettling his gut.
    But the thing was: he could live with the anxiety. It was better than no Jessie.
    One day at a time. That’s how she survived it, and that’s how they’d figure this out. All of it. One day at a time.
    “Will?”
    “Yeah,” he asked when she finally peeked up at him.
    “I’m kind of hungry now.”
    He smiled. And that’s how she did it. She dre w him back to the here and now. Jessie. Right before him. The magic of that moment. “I can fix that.”
    She finally released him and stood up. “You can fix a lot of things.”
    Not enough though. “I can check the map.”
    That made her smile. “I like the map.”
    He stood up and joined her, careful to take her hand. He was beginning to see he could never do enough positive things for her.

Chapter Five
     
    The first week was unlike any Jessie ever spent. They were so busy seeing Disneyland, their feet blistered and ached each night, as if bruised. They hit every single attraction they could. They ate and swam and had sex. They talked, and joked and kissed everywhere. He showed her many of the things he and Tony Lindstrom did together, along with occasional offhand comments about when he went there with Gretchen’s family.
    “There’s where we stayed when we came here to celebrate high school graduation,” Will said, pointing to a nearby hotel. She glanced over, and he grimaced. “Sorry, I keep doing that. There’re just memories, you know? She shared a big part of my youth. Her family was… good to me.”
    “Better than your mother, you mean?”
    He laughed a sarcastic, sour sound. “Anything was better than her. But I shouldn’t keep mentioning my ex-wife and her family.”
    “If you can deal with my past; then believe me, I can deal with your much more normal one of having an ex-wife and childhood family you could rely on. I can hear those memories, Will. I want to hear them. I want to know everything about you.”
    He smiled with a crooked lift to his mouth, “Even my ex-wife? Really, I half married her just for her family. They were what I always wanted and imagined. Nice parents. Middle class, normal house, nice siblings. I was alone most of my childhood. I had no one. Not even a sibling to share my loneliness. It’s probably why I became such a good soldier. I can be alone. I prefer being alone to needing anyone. I was always self-sufficient. So the Army sending me away on a mission was easy. My mom, when not in a drunken stupor, was simply absent. She wasn’t mean to me or anything. She just didn’t care.”
    “She neglected you, Will. Ignoring a young child is neglect, plain and simple. And it’s not okay. I’m glad you had Gretchen’s family.”
    He suddenly stopped, stepping off the sidewalk to avoid the strolling crowds and wrapping her in his arms. “You know what I dream about now?”
    “What?”
    “You and me having that normal. Being nice parents, with kids who are decent, fun, loving siblings to each other. That’s what I dream about now.”
    “You want us to have kids? As in plural?”
    He chuckled as he caught her expression. “Never have just one. It isn’t fun being all alone as a kid. But yeah, I want to have kids. Not tomorrow. But someday? Yeah. The someday after we’ve survived the Army.”
    She sighed. “That’s as far as I can see right now. I can’t imagine what you just described. I didn’t live that. I didn’t witness that. So I just can’t imagine it. But it sounds… really nice.”
    “It is.”
    Jessie tilted her neck back to look into his eyes. “Why didn’t you make that life with Gretchen?”
    He scratched his head. “I should have. I married her thinking I would. I was with her forever, and I just assumed it would all work, and that life would come. But I felt itchy with restlessness whenever I came home. I didn’t like living with her day in and day out. I wanted to be gone. I looked forward to the missions. I wanted to