Free Boy Meets Girl - Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris

man she could follow.
    Claire's experience is a good reminder to us that we should very carefully examine our criteria for a spouse to see if they are in line with God's. The first nonnegotiable is that the potential spouse be a Christian. But that's not all that matters. The book of Proverbs ends with an entire chapter dedicated to describing the "wife of noble character." It says that a woman who fears IN,the Lord is to be praised and is worth far more than rubies
    IjT(Proverbs 31:10). God says that virtue and character matter
    most.
    Why is this so important? Because those who choose a spouse based on external and fleeting concerns experience much grief. The book of Proverbs is dotted with reminders of
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    how bad marriage can be. It tells us, "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones" (Proverbs 12:4). It warns us about the "sluggard" and the "angry man" (Proverbs 20:4; 29:22). It says it's better to live on the corner of the roof or in the desert than it is to share a house with a quarrelsome wife (Proverbs 21:9, 19).
    We need to make sure that we don't let our own romanticized and foolish notions lead us into marrying a person who lacks godly character.
    A Second Yes
    Courtship is a season for two people to grow in friendship, to get to know each others character, and to see how they interact as a couple. As we'll see in the next chapter, courtship isn't a form of preengagement. It's a time to consider the possibility of marriage and to seek to make a wise choice.
    Some courtships end with two people deciding that they should remain friends. David and Claire's courtship ended with two friends deciding that they should become lovers. Claire answered yes a second time when, on Christmas Eve, David asked her to be his wife.
    I got to attend their wedding. It was a beautiful celebration capped with a great surprise: David had arranged for a helicopter to land behind the church and whisk the newlyweds off to their hotel in downtown Washington, D.C. Talk about a dramatic exit!
    As I stood with the other wedding guests and watched the helicopter lift off into the clear night sky, I couldn't help marveling at the kindness of God. The boy who had felt the sting of rejection was finally holding his bride. The girl who had once pounded on her couch in annoyance at the thought of David
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    Tate liking her was now flying away with him on their honeymoon, more in love than she had ever imagined possible.
    In their wedding program Claire had quoted a passage from one of her favorite books, Anne of Avonlea by . M. Montgomery. She had picked it because it so perfectly described their experience.
    Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; Perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; Perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; Perhaps.. .perhaps. . .love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from it's green sheath.
    Perhaps after all our worries and questions, we'll discover that all along God had the right thing at the right time for us. Perhaps His plan is more wonderful than anything we could create by ourselves-whether it comes with "pomp and blare," or quietly, "like an old friend."
    Perhaps...perhaps...we should entrust our questions of "How?" and "Who?" and "When?"into His tender care.
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    More than Friends, Less than Lovers
    How to Grow and Guard in Friendship, Fellowship, and Romance
    We were eating lunch at the Corner Bakery when my friend asked, "Did you hear about Wes and Jenna?" "No," I answered as I poked at my salad. They were two singles from our church who had recently become a "couple." "What's the news?"
    "They decided to end their courtship," he said.
    I halted a bite midway to my