Free I Heart Me by David Hamilton

yourself. It’s perfectly OK just to be yourself, however you’re feeling. It’s a big part of what self-love is. If that means happy, so be it. If it means sad, so be it.
    Love your selfie regardless!
    In summary… Most of us understand that our emotions affect our body; when we feel emotionally tense, our body will also tense. When we feel happy, our face relaxes, we smile and our breathing is more fluid.
    But it goes in reverse too. Tensing our body can make us feel emotionally tense, while relaxing our face, smiling and breathing fluidly can actually make us feel happier. Research at Harvard University has shown that just two minutes of intentional body posture can affect body chemistry and feelings of confidence.
    So, if feelings of low self-worth are reflected in your body, perhaps through stooping, looking down or tensing your shoulders, you can cultivate healthier feelings of self-worth simply by adopting a posture and movements that reflect power. It works really quickly too.

Chapter 4
    Visualization
    â€˜See things as you would have them be instead of how they are.’
    R OBERT C OLLIER
    When Oscar was seven months old, he jumped up on a man on the street outside our house and dirtied his light grey suit.
    The ground was damp, Oscar had been trying to dig a weed out of the garden and I’d taken my eye off him for a few seconds. He’s a Labrador and if you know dogs at all, you’ll know that a Labrador is everyone’s best friend. Or at least that’s what they think. So Oscar said ‘hello’ in his usual fashion: paws on the man’s midriff, eyes playful, mouth wide open and tongue hanging out.
    The man didn’t take it well. He shouted angrily at me.
    As it was still the early days of my self-love project, I didn’t deal with the situation very well at all. At that moment I was no longer an adult (I was 42 at the time), I was a six-year-old child being scolded by my schoolteacher.
    Wouldn’t life be amazing if we could have another go when we don’t perform at our best? How amazing if I could have said to the man, ‘Thanks for that! I don’t suppose we could do it again? I don’t think I stood up for myself very well there, so if you could just step back a wee bit, I’ll get Oscar to jump up on you again and then if you give me a dressing-down like you did before, I’ll see if I can act like a man this time. Thanks so much.’
    Then he says ‘yes’, we have another go, I perform a wee bit better, ask him if it’s OK if we do it again, he says ‘yes’ and we’re off again… We end up doing it 10 times for good measure, then we shake hands, Oscar jumps up at the man to see him off, he and I flash slightly coy smiles at each other and we go on our way, Oscar and I to the park and the man to the dry-cleaner.
    Wouldn’t it be great if life were like this? In some ways, it can be. At least it can be inside our mind . And the cool thing about that is, our brain can’t tell whether it’s really happening or whether we’re imagining it.
    No, really, our brain doesn’t distinguish real from imaginary. We can replay a situation over and over in a new way in our mind and it will become real for our brain, at least for the wiring of our brain . And that’s the key thing.
    So, if we imagine behaving as enough , our brain networks will change to reflect ‘I am enough.’
The Three Rules of Mental Practice
    There are three important things to remember about using this technique: Repetition! Repetition! Repetition!
    OK, so there’s really just one thing to remember: you have to do it over and over again.
    It’s really much the same as going to the gym to get fit, to have a cardio workout or to build muscle. No one ever became Olympic champion after going to the gym just the once!
    I’ve noticed that when people engage in self-help work, they’re looking for the magic