Free Boys for Beginners by Lil Chase

must have told him about Charlie and Jenny.
    â€˜I speak to Angela about lots of things.’
    I imagine this Gwynnie convention with charts and pictures of me while they all discuss what’s going on with Dad’s weirdo daughter.
    â€˜I’d better go, Dad. I’ve got homework.’
    â€˜Well . . . But . . . OK.’ He admits defeat. ‘Take more pizza if you want.’
    â€˜Thanks, Dad,’ I say, and grab three slices out of the box.
    I am just about to escape, opening the door with my elbow as my hands are full, when he captures me again. ‘Gwynnie, just a sec . . .’
    Not more puberty talk, please.
    â€˜I’ve got a job,’ he says.
    This is brilliant news. ‘Dad! That’s so cool!’ I beam at him. It
is
really cool. ‘Now we can have pizza every day!’
    He laughs. ‘Well, perhaps not every day. It’s not a great job. I’m only working in a sports shop in the centre, but at least now we’ll have a bit of money coming in.’
    I’m so happy that I put my pizza down fora second and go over and give Dad a big hug. ‘Well done, Dad.’
    He gives me a big hug right back. I love my dad sometimes.
    â€˜The best thing about the job is that I get a staff discount.’
    Why is that the best thing about his job? Oh no, I can see where this is going.
    â€˜On Saturday we could go and get those football boots you wanted.’
    Wanted. Past tense. I don’t know how to tell him I’m not playing football any more. I say, ‘We could wait a bit, Dad. Or we could not get them at all. You probably have other things you need to buy first, don’t you?’
    â€˜There is nothing more important than getting my little girl her birthday present.’
    I don’t know how to tell him that I am not into football any more. Maybe I won’t have to. Maybe the shop will burn down before then. Maybe they’ll put a nationwide ban on football. Maybe, if I’m really lucky, my feet will fall off.

    It’s Saturday morning and all I have done this week is speak to girlie girls on Instant Messenger or Facebook or both at the same time. Wecan have, like, a two-hour conversation about rubbish, but mostly we seem to talk about Charlie Notts, which is a subject that never bores me.
    Elizabeth P says < wot do u think he wears in bed? >
    Tanya D says < definitely plum burgundy silk pjs that his dad bought him when he was on a diplomatic trip to japan >
    Melissa R says < no way! he wears boxer shorts 2 bed and the tight ones 2 so u can c the outline of all his bits >
    Elizabeth P says < lol >
    Tanya D says < lol >
    So I quickly write < lol > too.
    Jenny G says < u lot r obsessed! itsa bit sad really >
    Elizabeth P says < imagine pulling them off. like unwrapping a present 2 c the ‘package’ inside >
    Jenny G says < lol >
    Kimba O says < lol >
    Tanya D says < lol >
    So I write < lol > too.
    So far with the BB Club I have bided my time. I don’t say too much in case I get anythingwrong. But I can’t keep quiet while they talk any more – especially as they talk so much!
    Gwynnie L says < i bet he sleeps naked! lets just spend a moment thinking about that . . . >
    Kimba O says < yum yum >
    Elizabeth P says < mmmmmmm! >
    Tanya D says < he definitely sleeps naked >
    Elizabeth P says < hey gwynnie, we r meetin at s bucks to talk more charlie. u wanna come? >
    Paul S says < hi. wanna play g of w l8r? >
    I’m about to answer his message when Jenny pings in with. < we cd go shopping and get G some new clothes! that wd be awesome! >
    Elizabeth P says < cool. makeover! >
    Kimba O says < i spose that might be ok >
    Tanya D says < primark here we come! >
    Melissa R says < usual time usual place? >
    I have no idea what the usual time or place is. I’ll have to call Jenny. Everyone agrees. Then Melissa goes:
    Melissa R says < wot were we talking about? o yeah. charlie notts naked . . . >
    â€˜Gwynnie?’
    So there I