Free 100 Unfortunate Days by Penelope Crowe Page B

they can.

Day 82
    What do you do when you realize they are here? That you have been surrounded for years? You fight and do all the things you are supposed to do. The simple things. The things you have not been doing because they seemed ridiculous, like cooking dinner for your family, talking to your kids without telling them everything they are doing wrong. You believe in yourself and stop telling yourself on a regular basis what an asshole you are.
    It’s so hard to stifle the voice because it’s the voice of something dark, something black and sticky. So you hit bottom and realize there are two ways to go, and the choices are simple: you can go down the road you’re on and smell the ashes burning behind you as you continue, or you can fight. And it is going to be a fight alright, a terrible and beautiful fight. But don’t look too far into it because it may make you crazy. Only look at what is going on now because too much focus on the future or the past somehow turns on the witchcraft and magic and brings them back again.
    Do what you need to do now, and laugh at everyone else because for this moment— you are winning. I think they singe and scream when you laugh because now it’s not the evil laughing you were doing last week when someone who hurt you got hurt themselves—it is real joy. It’s happiness because you have them under your heel, and there is nothing they can do without your permission. In the scary books you read, if a vampire comes to your window, you have to let him in before he can harm you. He’ll do everything he can…promise how good it will feel and tell you all the pain will go away. THIS IS THE SAME THING. If you let them in they are allowed to work on you—and they will. So…DO NOT LET THEM IN! This is easier said than done.
    What if you want to watch porn—just a little. Because a little won’t hurt, right? It’s not hurting anyone, right? So you turn it on, or buy the book, or look up the pictures and you forget they are not in love—most likely they don’t even know each other. And most likely she is very young and broke. And it’s pretty safe to say she is hiding this from her mother. Maybe she is getting an STD during the film you are looking at that will kill her next year. Despite all these things you watch and you are fascinated. And before you know it a few hours have gone by. Your house is a mess, your son won’t bring his friends home because he is embarrassed by the mess. Everyone is hungry because you did not have time to cook dinner, so you get fast food, again .
    Slowly but surely everyone gains weight and their immune systems kinda go off-kilter and they start getting sick all the time. And when you don’t feel good you make lots of bad decisions. And it starts to spiral from there. Smoking, drinking, hanging out with bad people, not caring to do your work. And the circle is complete and now it can self-perpetuate. All this is from one temptation. No big deal right? When things are already off—the fun for them begins. How else can they screw you up? When you are partially screwed up, one more screw does not seem that bad. In fact, it gets to be funny in a sick kind of way. And then you can start to relate to that side of things. You’ll have excuses for this, too. The people going down the right path will be prissy and stiff to you. Any discipline will be viewed as a negative. Any steadfastness will be scorned. Before you know it the seven deadly sins don’t seem so deadly after all. Gluttony? Oh, please—I only have one life to live so why shouldn’t I be able to have and eat what I want?! Sloth? Shut up already—I’m tired and bored and need to rest. And it goes on. The slippery slope is a dangerous place to be.



Day 83
    I remember a movie that starred Keanu Reeves about demons and devils. He was a demon fighter, and there was one part of the movie where he was outside with a woman and he told her to close her eyes because the demons would be revealed