Free Bright Purple: Color Me Confused with Bonus Content by Melody Carlson

then just the thought of being with her in the locker room, the shower room, well, it might sound stupid to a guy, but it was really nauseating.”
    “No, I know what you mean. I used to play baseball with this kid named Shane, and the guys all thought he was gay. And sometimes I’d see him looking at me, and it didn’t make me sick, but it did make me mad. I wanted to go over and just take him down.”
    “Oh.”
    “But I didn’t.”
    “That’s good.”
    “So, I know what you mean, Ramie.” He gets a thoughtful look now. “But I think you were wrong to quit the team.”
    “Coach thought I was wrong too.”
    “Did you tell him why?”
    “No way!”
    “Does anyone else know about it?”
    I nod. “Lauren Kempt knows. She saw Jess going to that gay alliance meeting last week. She figured it out.”
    “She’s not gay too, is she?”
    “No, not at all. Although I have to admit I wondered the same thing. But then we talked, and I could tell she’s not.”
    “Well, you know what they say about those sports-jock girls.”
    “Don’t say that, Mitch. I’m one of those girls too, you know.”
    He smiles. “No, you’re not.”
    “I am,” I insist. “I do volleyball and basketball and soccer and—”
    “I know.” He nods with approval. “And I’ve seen you in that volleyball outfit and, trust me, no sports-jock girl looks anything like that.”
    I feel my cheeks getting warm, and I pick up my unfinished food and carry it toward the sink.
    “Hey, you’re not throwing that out, are you?”
    I turn and look at him. “You want it?”
    “You bet!”
    I laugh as I take my plate back to him. “Help yourself.”
    “So, what are you going to do about all this?” he asks as he puts my sandwich on his plate and tops off his soup with my leftovers.
    “What can I do?”
    “I don’t know.” He dips his sandwich again. “But I don’t think you can just roll over and let it take you out.”
    “I’ve really been praying for Jess. And this afternoon I sent her the website for this exit group where Christians counsel homosexuals back to the truth.”
    “The truth?”
    “You know, that homosexuality is wrong.”
    “How do you know for sure that it is?”
    “Because of the Bible.” I say with a little impatience, studying Mitch’s expression and wondering whether he really is a Christian.
    “Do you think that homosexuals can really change who they are?”
    “I read lots of testimonies. you know, from people who used to be gay and then turned straight. They sounded pretty convincing to me. So I think God can change people, if people want to change, that is.”
    “I know my dad would probably agree with you on that. But I’m just not so sure myself. I’m not convinced that people aren’t just born that way, and that’s the way it is.”
    Okay, this response disappoints me a little. I wish that Mitch had stronger convictions about something like this. But then I suppose he’s just being honest. And maybe it’s just something he needs to give a little more thought to. “Well, that just figures,” I say. “I agree with your dad and you agree with my mom.”
    He laughs, then says, “Hey, sounds like we could be one big happy family,” which makes me laugh too. And, while I know Mitch isn’t exactly proposing marriage (that would be scary), it does make me feel like we have a future, at least a dating future. For the first time since last Saturday, I feel like maybe I will survive this thing after all. I think maybe there’s hope. Thank God for Mitch!



nine
     
     
    “T HANKS FOR PICKING ME UP ,” I TELL M ITCH THE NEXT MORNING .
    “No problem,” he says as he pulls out of my driveway.
    “Sure beats taking the bus.” I laugh. “Okay, that’s a huge understatement. This is like way, way better than taking the bus!”
    “Hey, I understand. I used to have to ride the bus sometimes too. I was so glad when I finally got my own wheels.”
    “Yeah, if you hadn’t offered me a lift, I probably