Free Hiding In His Dreams by Jason W. Chan Page A

say something but he did
not know what, so he just held her tight, until she fell asleep a
while later.
    * * * * *
    Over the next few weeks, the two of
them threw themselves into their work. They did not speak of the
miscarriage, but it was always there in the background, like a tiny
leak in a boat, barely noticeable, but disastrous if left
unattended.
    One day, Luke came home from work, and
found that dinner had not already been made. There was no note on
the mini blackboard. He waited a few hours, but she still did not
return. He yawned, then turned on the TV, then fell
asleep.
    It was past midnight when Alyssa came
home. Luke rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and saw the blurry
image of his girlfriend. Her hair was undone and there was bags
under her eyes.
    "Where were you?" Luke asked, still
half asleep.
    "At the old folk's home. I've started
to volunteer there."
    "Don't you think you're overdoing it a
bit? You already teach school and work at the hospital."
    She looked at her blankly, then
sneered. "I'm fine," she said. "Just fine."
    He stood up. “You’re the one that
always tells me to slow down and enjoy life.”
    “ Things have changed,” she
said.
    Indeed they have, he
thought.
    She walked toward their bedroom, then
stopped at the babies' room. Luke turned around and saw her staring
blankly into it. She stood there for a good ten minutes. Luke tried
to get up, but decided not to. He realized that he had to allow her
to have her own form of therapy.
    He saw her look down at her now flat
stomach, and pat it lightly.
    Ten minutes dragged into twenty. Luke
decided that it was time to join her. He went up beside her and put
an arm around her. She did not seem to notice.
    He heard the summer rain hammering
against the glass, as though it were struggling to infiltrate their
apartment. The rain came without warning, a sudden freak storm. The
wind bellowed and shook the glass window.
    She shook a little, and Luke could not
tell if it was due to the weather.
    "Are you OK?" Luke asked.
    Alyssa shook her head, then her entire
body began to tremble. She started to unbutton her shirt, then took
it off, standing there in her bra.
    She turned to Luke, and started to
unbutton the top of his dress shirt. She kissed him furiously on
the cheek, then pounced on him.
    Luke backed away. "What are you
doing?!" he asked. He looked at her. Her face was hot, and her body
was still shaking. Luke now knew that it was not due to the
weather.
    "Let's make a baby," she said. Her hair
was a mess, her eyes were eager, and her voice was innocent. Too
innocent to do what she had just suggested.
    "Like this?"
    She nodded.
    "I don't want to do it like this. It's
too soon. It doesn't feel right." There, he had said it. He had
mentioned the miscarriage for the first time in weeks.
    Alyssa, however, did not notice it. She
advanced on him, and he backed away even farther.
    She tackled him and he fell to the
floor. She tried to undo her bra, but the straps were giving her
trouble. At the same time, she kissed him all over his face, but it
was less of a kiss and more like the wet slobbering of a
dog.
    "Alyssa," he said.
    When she did not respond, he yelled,
"Alyssa!"
    She ignored him.
    He pushed her off, and she rolled down
beside him.
    The two of them lay on the floor,
panting.
    He looked at her. She looked like she
had just fallen into a pool.
    "Not like this," he said
firmly.
    She started to cry, then sob
hard.
    He took her in his arms and kissed her
on the neck once. "It's alright, Lissie. It's alright."
    She closed her eyes and snuggled into
his chest, still sobbing.
    * * * * *
    Over the next few days, Luke worked
late. He missed dinner three times. He did not want to face his now
crazy girlfriend. On the fourth night, he knew he would be in hot
water if he did not go home for dinner. He left the office at
9pm.
    When he got home, he saw Alyssa sitting
on the couch in front of the TV set.
    “ You’re doing it again,” she
said, then switched off the