Free Grin and Bear It: How to Be Happy No Matter What Reality Throws Your Way by Jenni Pulos, Laura Morton

without my husband. I mean, why would I? It never occurred to me.
    The producers wanted to interview me that afternoon to capture how I was feeling. A part of me felt obligated to give them what they wanted, but another part felt like I needed some privacy to deal with my feelings. It felt as though a tornado had ripped through my world with no warning. For the most part, the crew didn’t even want to be a part of my misery, but they had their job to do, as did I. When reality television becomes brutally real, it’s devastating. My most private moments were now everyone’s public information. I had no idea what I had signed up for. I even wondered if I was somehow being punished for what I had set into motion by wanting this kind of attention so badly.
    As the days passed, things cleared and I suddenly felt extremely betrayed. Who had I been with for all of those years? I didn’t even know the man Jeff described to me that horrible day.
    I felt so sick thinking about the humiliation and backlash that would surely come. My family would suffer, his family would suffer, our colleagues would suffer and, despite all the fallout, my initial reaction was to protect him.
    A few days later, Chris came home and was ready to talk. I was confused and angry. Maybe I wasn’t ready to move on so fast. I needed time and space to think it all through so I went to stay with my family for a couple of days. I asked Chris to seek counseling from our Spiritual Father at our church, someone who had counseled hundreds of marriages. He knew us pretty well, so I often turned to him throughout our marriage for his insights. This time was no exception. When we met, he asked Chris if there was another woman involved. Of course, Chris said there wasn’t. Our priest is a very wise man. He told Chris that if he had any desire to make our relationship work, everything needed to come out into the open. Chris held his ground, insisting there wasn’t someone else in his life. I wasn’t sure I believed him.
    What was my future with Chris? This was a question I had never really asked myself, until he was fired from the show. After the counseling session I offered to do whatever it would take to save our marriage, even if it meant leaving the show. Chris told me that wasn’t the solution. He promised to get another job and committed to doing whatever it would take to make things work. Deep down, I believe Chris told me to stay on Flipping Out because even though I didn’t have an inkling of the truth, he already knew he was leaving me for good.
    Right after that meeting, Chris flew to Las Vegas to do a job and was gone again for a couple of days. Even though things were rough between us, I looked forward to his return and trying to salvage whatever was left of our marriage. When Chris arrived home we went to a birthday party together. It was a small gathering of eight good friends who were all in the know about what had happened. Chris assured everyone there that we were going to work things out—get counseling and try to grow from this experience. He readily admitted that he’d made a terrible mistake and spoke about how marriages go through ups and downs. Since he was no longer involved in the show, there was no reason to doubt the authenticity of what he was saying as there were no cameras rolling—just close friends having drinks and a celebration dinner.
    Even though I felt betrayed, I definitely wanted to be with Chris and thought we could work things out with time and counseling. So we decided that night to stay together and give our marriage a chance.
    The following weekend would be our first date night together since the illusion of our happy marriage had been shattered. I was excited and eagerly anticipated a romantic evening. When Chris came home that night, he walked through the door and almost immediately blurted out something like, “I’m leaving you. I was never really attracted to you. I have loved you more than anyone else, but I’m