Free The Cat Ate My Gymsuit by Paula Danziger

doorbell rang. My mother wanted me to wait a while to make an entrance. I rushed down the steps, trying to get to the front door before my father got there.
    I didn’t make it. My father and Joel were standing there looking at each other. I walked over and said, “Hi. I’ll get my coat and we can leave.”
    But it wasn’t that easy. My mother came down the steps, making the entrance that I didn’t make, and said, “Well, hello, Joel. Why don’t we all go sit in the living room and talk for a while?”
    I thought I would die right there. But I didn’t, so we all went into the living room. It was horrible. My father kept chomping on his smelly cigar and asking Joel what his plans for the future were. My mother kept gushing about how nice I looked. Stuart wandered in and asked Joel if he was going to marry me. Joel just sat there, smiling and trying to say nice things.
    I couldn’t say anything. I just sat there, trying not to have a nervous breakdown and wishing that a tornado would strike or that some machine would come out of the sky to rescue us. I was positive that I was developing an ulcer.
    Finally I stood up and said, “We’d better go. Nancy’s expecting me to help her out.”
    So everybody stood up and walked over to the door. I felt as if we were leaving for a trip to Mars. Allwe needed were reporters around, asking questions like “Ms. Lewis, how does it feel to be going out on your first date?” and “Mr. Anderson, has it been a life-long ambition of yours to go out with a grape?” My father told us to get home early, and my mother kept picking imaginary lint off my coat.
    We finally got out the door and started down the street. Then I looked at Joel to tell him how sorry I was about the scene at the house. Instead, we both laughed.

CHAPTER 14
    B y the time we got to Nancy’s house, my stomach had calmed down. Ringing the bell, we heard someone running up to the door. It was Nancy, looking absolutely beautiful in a long skirt and a short top. On me it would have looked like a lot of rubber bands above a tent placed on a volleyball.
    Standing behind Nancy was this fantastic-looking guy, the kind you always see in ads for aftershave lotion. I had never been that near to anyone who looked like him. Nancy introduced us. It was herboyfriend, Phil. I’d seen him around but had never talked to him. He smiled and said, “Nancy’s been telling me what’s happening. Wish we had as much excitement at that stupid high school. Maybe it’ll get more interesting next year, when you get there.”
    Joel said, “Why don’t all of you at the high school get involved? It’s something that could happen there too.”
    Phil and Joel got really involved in the discussion, and so did Nancy and I. We finally headed down to the rec room, all of us carrying plates of food. The place was mobbed.
    Some of the kids were dancing. I kept trying to remember all the things Nancy had taught me. Then Joel turned to me, saying, “Listen, Marcy. I’m a lousy dancer. So let’s go talk.”
    We went over to a couch and sat down. Everyone was either dancing or standing around eating food. I didn’t know how to begin talking. I’d talked to him before, but somehow this was different. And he wasn’t saying anything either. So I sat there, looking at the dancers and smiling as if I were having a fantastic time.
    All of a sudden, a pretzel flew across the roomand hit the wall right behind us. We looked around the room.
    It was Andy Moore. He’s always getting sent to the principal’s office because he shoots straw wrappers at everyone in the cafeteria. He waved at us, and we waved back.
    Joel began, “That Andy is really dumb. He’ll do anything for attention.”
    I said, “Ms. Finney says that we’ve got to try to understand people, maybe not like them, but try to understand.”
    He thought for a minute. “Yeah. I guess so, but sometimes it’s hard. I wish Ms. Finney was still around.”
    “So do I. Nancy’s mother ran