Free Boogers from Beyond #3 by M. D. Payne

haunted every day.”
    Grigore slowly limped out of the room, and Richard didn’t stop him. The other old monsters followed, Grace the zombie taking a swipe at Richard’s face with an upset groan. His face returned to normal. Well, normal for a ghost, anyway.
    â€œNow wait a minute,” Lt. Commander Stratford said as he floated into the room. “I don’t think we should be too hasty, Grandson.”
    â€œDo you really want those beasts strutting around this house?” asked Richard. “You said yourself these old monsters would rain ruin upon our house—letting those terrible creatures into it is certainly a step toward that.”
    â€œI think, Grandson,” Lt. Commander Stratford said, waving his short sword around the room, “that those beasts will end up doing more harm to the old monsters then they will to us, or our house.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?” I said.
    â€œOh, I don’t know,” said the old ghost. “I just think they’ve got something in them.”
    â€œYes, they’ve certainly got a lot in them,” said Lady Stratford as she entered the room, Leila in tow. “And quite a lot of it has come out onto our carpets. Disgusting.”
    The puppy and kitten scampered into the room again, and Quincy backed away.
    â€œI think they’re scary,” said Quincy. “And they make my nose feel funny.”
    Just thinking about it, Quincy sneezed, and snorted up a huge, glowing booger. He went to pick it, when—
    â€œQuincy!” his mother screeched. “WHAT IN HEAVENS ARE YOU DOING?”
    â€œMa,” said Quincy. “Why are you always ruining my fun?”
    â€œFiddlesticks,” said his mother. “You should really use a handkerchief! It’s completely uncouth.”
    â€œThis is what’s going to happen,” I said, scooping up the dog. “We’re going to get these guys out of your hair. Then, we’ll introduce you to the Director, and you guys can set some ground rules about the old monsters in the house. Everyone’s gonna be happy, I swear it. Shane, grab the cat.”
    â€œIt was a terrible idea, anyway,” added Ben. “Quincy, let me get a look at that booger . . .”
    â€œI’ll search the house for stained carpets, and do what I can to scrub up the mess,” Gordon said.
    â€œGreat,” I said. “Nabila, could you help Gordon?”
    Nabila sat in a chair staring off into space. A long string of drool hung from her mouth.

Nothing to Sneeze At
    â€œNABILA!” screeched Ben. “What’s going on?”
    â€œIt bit me,” she mumbled. “So badly.”
    â€œWhat?” I asked.
    We all rushed over. Her hand was red and swollen.
    â€œShe’s having an allergic reaction to the dog bite,” said Ben, and he unzipped Nabila’s fanny pack. “I just need to get my rash cream, Nabila. And an allergy pill.”
    The Lt. Commander floated over. “See, I told you that there was something special about these mangy little furballs,” he said.
    I looked down at Sir Kibblebreath, and wondered if there was something special about him. He shook his little head in my arms, and some hair floated up into my nose.
    â€œAh, ahhhh, ahhhhhhh . . . CHOOOOO!” I sneezed so hard that the glass on the fallen chandelier shook a bit.
    â€œYes,” said Richard. “There is something ‘special’ about these animals. Which is exactly why we need to get them out of our home immediately. They’re making me itchy just looking at them.”
    â€œWe’ll leave you to help out your friend,” said the Lt. Commander. “We’ll be back for an update. Unless we see your friend first.”
    â€œSee our friend first?” Gordon asked.
    â€œOh, you mean if she dies?” Shane asked.
    â€œExactly,” wheezed the old ghost.
    â€œGreat-Grandfather!” squeaked Quincy.