Free Can I See You Again? by Allison Morgan

proctologist. And that’s not funny.”
    â€œYes, it is.” Andrew winks. “Pick another guy here, then.”
    My phone rings. The caller ID reads Lawrence Chambers.
    â€œI gotta take this.” I step away. On top of my breakup and the fiasco I webbed myself into, Jo’s IRS letter that I’d convinced myself was a scam still niggles at the back of my brain. Thanks to my ex-boyfriend’s ill-timed mental breakdown—not that there’s ever a
well-timed
mental breakdown—I can no longer ask him. So this morning I e-mailed his colleague that I remembered him mentioning.
    â€œLawrence Chambers is a bulldog,” Sean had said.
    Not sure if bulldog is a good or bad thing, but the way Sean carved into his steak, tearing it into pieces, suggested Lawrence might be worth a call.
    â€œHello, Mr. Chambers, thanks for phoning back.”
    â€œMy secretary said something about a tax lien?” His voiceis slow and thick like a cup of cold diner coffee. Something tells me he sits relaxed in a leather wingback chair, stroking a too-short tie, and inhaling puffs of an expensive cigar with a vintage set of law books lining the wall behind him.
    â€œYes, I’m inquiring on my grandmother’s behalf. It’s possible I’m overreacting, but the letter says to contact the IRS to prevent loss of property. My grandmother thinks it’s the real thing and frankly I can’t tell myself. I just want to make sure.”
    â€œIs it a 1058 form?”
    I pull the letter from my purse and refer to the number on the upper right of the page. “Yes. Is that significant?”
    â€œE-mail the document and I’ll make a few calls to confirm the validity.”
    â€œOkay, I appreciate this.”
    â€œTo be clear, you’re officially retaining my legal services?”
    â€œYes, I guess so.”
    â€œI’ll need a check for twenty-five hundred dollars. That’ll get me started.”
    Jesus. How much to get you finished?
Earlier today I received confirmation from the advisor that the bulk of my savings account was transferred into the investment fund. Deducting another $2,500 squeezes things a bit tight. But with no other choice, I agree.
    â€œMy secretary will forward the contract,” he says. “I’ll be in touch.”
    â€œOkay, thank you. Um . . . Mr. Chambers . . . should we be worried?”
    I’m too late.
    He clicked off.
    â€œDon’t frown like that,” Andrew says as I climb onto the bar stool. “Botox is expensive.”
    â€œLook at this.”
    Andrew scans the letter before handing it back to me. “Youknow my literacy rate is barely higher than a scrappy eleven-year-old. What does it mean?”
    â€œI’m not totally sure. It’s the letter that upset Jo yesterday, and I have a feeling it wasn’t her first notice. That call was from a lawyer I hired.”
    â€œThis amount, nearly fifty thousand dollars, she owes that?”
    â€œThat’s what I’m afraid of.”
    â€œWhat’d the lawyer say?”
    â€œHe’s getting back to me.” I skim the letter again. “But I don’t think it’s gonna be with good news.”
    â€œDoes she have the money?”
    â€œNot unless she knocked over a couple 7-Elevens that I don’t know about. She and G-pa took out a reverse mortgage on their house years ago. There’s no equity in the property. As far as savings, she’s lived off her social security and my G-pa’s pension for years. I take care of the extras. So no, she doesn’t have the money.”
    â€œOkay, well, you said yourself there’s a lot of swindlers out there, feasting on old people. Let’s wait to hear from this lawyer guy before freaking out. How about we focus on your more immediate threat?”
    Hee-haw . . . Hee-haw . . . hee-haw.
    â€œSpeak of the devil,” he says.
    I silence my phone