Free Just a Fan by Leen Elle, Emily Austen

big dark spots everywhere!'
     
    We both laughed. The way he talked with such an affectionate tone about our first meeting - it made me realise again how lucky I was. If he hadn't been at that photoshoot, or if I hadn't been looking up at the building like an idiot, then we wouldn't have walked into each other...and we wouldn't be sitting here together now. It was a scary thought...but what mattered was that what had happened had happened, and here I was in the company of my most admired movie star Connor MacGowan.
     
    And he would be leaving tomorrow...
     
    Our conversation lasted for hours. We talked together longer than I had ever remembered talking to anyone...the words seemed to flow so naturally, so easily between us. It was downright odd...I had always imagined that talking to such a famous person would be awkward and difficult. But there was so much to talk about - and when Connor sat the way he did, languid and full of irresistible ease, I found myself forgetting for a moment who he was. He just seemed...normal. Heinously handsome and bewitchingly charming, maybe, but still just like any other man. The way he laughed, the way he smiled...the way he sometimes nibbled his lip when deep in thought...all of these small things stopped me seeing him as a perfect, godlike entity, and instead opened my eyes to a different side of him - a fuller, richer, deeper side of him. A side that I could almost dare to think was...the real Connor MacGowan.
     
    But even as I wonderingly explored this new revelation during the peaceful moments of our comfortable, companionable conversation, the daunting knowledge that soon he would be gone hung over me like an indomitable, oppressive cloud.
     
    And outside, the rain began to pour down.
     
    ----
    A few hours later, we were running together through the deluge, until we arrived under the familiar shelter of my apartment building's main door. Raindrops shimmered on the grey pavement, falling in sheets just beyond the sheltered area Connor and I now stood under. I knew I looked a mess; I always did in the rain. Connor, on the other hand, looked lovely as usual, even with his hair plastered to his head. I could see the drops of water clinging to individual curls as they slowly began to rise again, raindrops shining on the tip of his fine nose and on the edge of his chin. He was beautiful...
     
    It gradually began to dawn on me that this moment now really was goodbye. This was probably going to be our last meeting...after this, he would move on and forget me, I knew it. He seemed to know it, too; his eyes, a more vivid shade of blue in the rain, were full of sadness, a little furrow of melancholy upon his brow.
     
    'It's been great, Connor,' I said to him quietly and earnestly. 'It really has. I haven't talked like that in ages...my other friends don't listen to me half as much as you do.'
     
    Connor gave a sad little half-smile. 'Mine neither,' he replied. 'I'm gonna really, really miss you, Lillian. It's sad to leave just as soon as I've made such a good friend...'
     
    I smiled back, touched, fighting against the pricking I could feel in my eyes.
     
    'I guess my life will just have to go back to being boring again,' I said, trying to be light-hearted but only managing to sound completely false. 'Anyway...if you do come here again, you know where I live...we can always meet up again one day.'
     
    Connor nodded distractedly, then sighed.
     
    'I certainly hope so. I know that I've been looking forward to taking part in this film, but it's just that...everything will go back to being hectic and complicated again in my life,' he confessed. 'It's always so nice to have someone to talk to the way we've been talking these past few days...hell, I've been quite lonely for a very long time...'
     
    'You? Lonely?' I repeated in surprise, frowning slightly. 'But - you're always surrounded with people! You seem so happy , and you've got absolutely everything you could wish for -'
     
    Connor