Free Goldberg Street by David Mamet

it. Do you want to try a practice hand?

Four A . M .

     

    An announcer seated at a radio studio console desk . He wears earphones and speaks into a microphone . We hear the voice of the caller over a loudspeaker .
    Interviewer: Hello, you're on the air.
    Caller: Hello, Greg, how are you?
    Int: I'm fine.
    Caller: Good. Greg, it's a pleasure to talk with you. I had the pleasure of talking to you three-and-one-half years ago, and I've been a continual listener of yours since you started out with the twenty-two stations, and I admire you very much.
    Int: Thank you.
    Caller: Thank you , Greg.
    Int: What's your problem?
    Caller: Greg, we need your help to publicize our plan. We've been trying to get our organization together to raise money to be able to hire a public relations firm like Wells and Jacoby to publicize our organization. ( Pause .) Where are we going to get the money . . . ? I don't know . . .
    Int: To publicize your .. .
    Caller: In the movie 2001 , based on the writings of Arnold Toynbee, they speak of the plan . . .
    Int: Excuse me, excuse me, but the movie 2001 was based on the writings . . .
    Caller: . . . all human life is made of molecules . . .
    Int: . . . based on the writings of Arthur C. Clarke . . .
    Caller: All human . . . no, Greg, if you examine . . .
    Int: . . . it was based on the writings of Arthur C. Clarke . . .
    Caller: Oh, Greg, No . We have the . . .
    Int: Well, go on.
    Caller: . . . we have the writings.
    Int: Okay, go on.
    Caller: Greg: In the writings of Arnold Toynbee he discusscusses a plan whereby all human life could be easily reconstituted on the planet Jupiter.
    Int: Uh-huh . . . ( Pause .)
    Caller: Greg?
    Int: Yes? ( Pause .) I'm listening.
    Caller: Greg . . .
    Int: Yes?
    Caller: In the wr . . .
    Int: Yeah. I got it. Go on.
    Caller: In the . . .
    Int: No, no. No. Go on . I got it. Arnold Toynbee, human life on . . .
    Caller: As we're made of molecules, Greg, and the atoms of all human life that ever lived are still in all of us . . .
    Int: Okay, I got it. They exist, they've just been rearranged. ( Pause .)
    Caller: Yes. ( Pause .)
    Int: So ?
    Caller: We'd like to publicize our organization, Greg. We're very young. We've just been in existence over a year and we want to publicize our theory. And, Greg, we don't know how .
    Int: You . . . how do you publicize your plan to bring dead people back to life on Jupiter .
    Caller: Yes.
    Int: Why ? ( Pause .) Why would you want to do this? ( Pause .) Hello?
    Caller: Yes?
    Int: Why would you want to do this? ( Pause .) You see what I'm saying to you? ( Pause .) What is the aim of your group?
    Caller: Greg . . .
    Int: What are your plans ? ( Pause .)
    Caller: I . . . ( Pause .)
    Int: What ?
    Caller: I . . . Greg, I told you.
    Int: You said that you want to bring dead people back to life.
    Caller: Yes.
    Int: On the planet Jupiter.
    Caller: Just as they showed us in the mo . . .
    Int: Well, I'm not sure that's what the movie was about, but be that as it may, why would you want to do that?
    Caller: Oh, Greg, you can't mean it . . .
    Int: Well, yes , I mean it. Why would you . . . what's the idea . . . ? You're walking down the street, there's Abraham Lincoln . . . is that the idea?
    Caller: Yes.
    Int: . . . so anybody that you want to talk to, so forth, there they are. Is that the idea? ( Pause .)
    Caller: Yes.
    Int: Who do you pick ? Who picks ’em?
    You? Your organization? . . . or do you just bring ‘em all back? ( Pause .) What is your . . . I mean, do you have a program for this? Or . . . what are your goals . . . ? ( Pause .)
    Caller: To bring . . .
    Int: Naah . . . it's too broad . It's too broad . Don't you see what I'm talking about? You can't bring’ em all back. ( Pause .) Can you?
    Caller: I don't know.
    Int: Well, think about it. ( Pause .) Think about it.
    You're talking about billions of people. Eh?
    They've lived at different times. They speak different languages—the ones that speak our language, it's changed over the years.