Free Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume

just about nothing in front and on top. The barber said there wasn’t much he could do until the hair grew back. Between his fangs and his hair he was getting funnier looking every day.
    The second was my father came home with a chain latch for my bedroom door. I could reach it when I stood on tip-toe, but that brother of mine couldn’t reach it at all—no matter what!
    *  *  *
    Our committee was the first to give its report. Mrs. Haver said we did a super job. She liked our poster a lot. She thought the silver-sparkle airplane was the best. The only thing she asked us was, how come we included a picture of a flying train?

8
    The TV Star
    Aunt Linda is my mother’s sister. She lives in Boston. Last week she had a baby girl. So now I have a new cousin. My mother decided to fly to Boston to see Aunt Linda and the new baby.
    â€œI’ll only be gone for the weekend,” my mother told me.
    I was sitting on her bed watching her pack. “I know,” I said.
    â€œDaddy will take care of you and Fudge.”
    â€œI know,” I said again.
    â€œAre you sure you’ll be all right?” she asked me.
    â€œSure. Why not?”
    â€œWill you help Daddy with Fudge?”
    â€œSure, Mom. Don’t worry.”
    â€œI’m not worrying. It’s just that Daddy is so . . . well, you know . . . he doesn’t know much about taking care of children.” Then she closed her suitcase.
    â€œWe’ll be fine, Mom,” I said. I was really looking forward to the weekend. My father doesn’t care about keeping things neat. He never examines me to see if I’m clean. And he lets me stay up late at night.
    On Friday morning all four of us rode down in the elevator to say good-bye to my mother.
    Henry looked at the suitcase. “You going away, Mr. Hatcher?” he asked.
    My mother answered. “No, I am, Henry. My sister just had her first baby. I’m flying to Boston for the weekend . . . to help out.”
    â€œNew baby,” Fudge said. “Baby baby baby.”
    Nobody paid any attention to him. Sometimes my brother just talks to hear the sound of his own voice.
    â€œHave a nice visit, Mrs. Hatcher,” Henry told my mother when we reached the lobby.
    â€œThank you, Henry,” my mother said. “Keep an eye on my family for me.”
    â€œWill do, Mrs. Hatcher,” Henry said, giving my father a wink.
    Outside my father hailed a taxi. He put the suitcase in first, then held the door for my mother. When she was settled in the cab my father said, “Don’t worry about us. We’ll be just fine.”
    â€œJust fine . . . just fine, Mommy,” Fudge yelled.
    â€œBye, Mom. See you Sunday,” I said.
    My mother blew us kisses. Then her cab drove away.
    My father sighed while Fudge jumped up and down calling, “Bye, Mommy . . . bye bye bye!”
    I had no school that day. The teachers were at a special meeting. So my father said he’d take me and Fudge to the office with him.
    My father’s office is in a huge building made of almost all glass. It’s really a busy place. You never see people just sitting quietly at desks. Everyone’s always rushing around. A person could get lost in there. My father has a private office and his own secretary. Her name is Janet and she’s very pretty. I especially like her hair. It’s thick and black. She has the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. Once I heard my mother say, “Janet must have to get up at the crack of dawn to put on her face.” My father just laughed when my mother said it.
    Janet’s seen me before but this was her first meeting with Fudge. I was glad his hair was finally growing back. I explained right off about his teeth. “He’ll look a lot better when he’s older,” I said. “He knocked out his front two, but