Free Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 by Away Laughing on a Fast Camel

away.”
    She said, “NO.”
    I said, “Maybe Mummy will let you have one if you ask her.”
    Libby gave me a very very scary smile and toddled off with her brush.
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    I heard her clanking down the stairs singing, “Mummy, Muuuummmmmmeeeeee.”
    ten minutes later
    I can hear mumbling going on in the kitchen. Libby said, “Nice Muummmeee.”
    I couldn’t hear what Mum was saying but I could tell she was using a reasoning sort of voice.
    Then there was banging and shouting. Mutti yelled, “No Libby. Stop that!! No biting and not on my best…oh hellfire!!”
    10:00 p.m.
    Our new kittykat is called Gordon. Libby LOBES Gordon very much. She has put him in his pajamas and tucked him up with me and her other toys. He is very very gorgey but he is a bit on the cross-eyed side.
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    Gordy is happily sucking on Libby’s dodie and all is quiet.
    tuesday march 15th
    Gordy woke up at six A.M. and crawled under my chin like a little ginger beard. He is so adorable.
    7:00 p.m.
    Stalag 14 was indescribably boring today. We had Blithering Heights followed by double French. I told the ace gang about the absolute cheek of Oscar and Mark Big Gob.
    Jas pretended to be giving me her icy shoulders, but even she got interested when I described Oscar looning around trying to get off with me. She said, “Were you wiggling your hips like in the book?”
    â€œJas, I was sitting down on the wall; anyway, he’s twelve.”
    She looked all Wise Woman of the Forestish (i.e., stupid).
    â€œPerhaps you were doing internal hip wiggling.”
    What is she raving on about?
    Still, she is talking to me by mistake and so I win the glaciosity game hahahaha.
    7:45 p.m.
    I don’t know why I have applied makeup to stay in my room.
    Mutti and Vati have got Uncle Eddie round and a few of their crap mates. Uncle Eddie popped his head round my door almost blinding me with the glare from his baldiness.
    I began to say, “Er, Uncle Eddie, this is a loon-free zone…” but he said, “What has a hundred legs and can’t walk?”
    â€œUncle Eddie, I am sixteen years old, I—”
    â€œFifty pairs of trousers…hahahahah it’s the way I tell ’em!”
    And he looned off to the loon gathering.
    I cannot have any peace. I am forced out of my own home because of the high loon count.
    7:59 p.m.
    I crept out of the house into the back garden. I would just see if Mark Big Gob has the audacity to turn up for our “date.” And I can tell him to bugger off.
    8:00 p.m.
    He’s not there. God, even someone I was going to stand up has stood me up before I had a chance to stand them up.
    8:02 p.m.
    Mark Big Gob came out of the shadows smoking a fag. He really has got the biggest gob known to humanity. He said, “You’re keen.”
    How annoying is that. I was going to say, well, actually I was just here to tell you to bugger off, when he said, “Fancy a fag?”
    Er…
    I said, “No thanks, I only smoke cigars.”
    What am I talking about?
    He held out his hand.
    â€œCome on then.”
    I honestly have no control over any part of my body, because even though I had no intention of doing it, I took his hand. Which was a mistake in very many ways, mostly because I had forgotten that I am taller than him and I have long arms. So I had to do the crouchy orangutan thing to keep at the same height as him.
    Anyway, we loped off up the hill, it was bloody dark and extremely nippy noodles. I had worn my big cardigan, but I still felt a bit chilly because it only buttoned up halfway. Mark is not a big talker and I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him. We got up to the bit at the top we call the bushes; it’s really snog headquarters. There was no one there tonight, though. Mark let go of my hand and put his fag out. Then he alarmed me by putting his hand round the back of my neck and pulling me tohim quite roughly. Blimey. Just