Free Incubus Dreams by Laurell K. Hamilton

hadn’t happened, and that made me uncomfortable.
    â€œI love the fact that I can make you blush, now,” he said.
    â€œI don’t.”
    He laughed, but there was something in his eyes that was more serious than laughter. “I need to tell you something, in private, before you go running off, though.”
    I didn’t like how suddenly serious he was. I’d learned in the last few months that Jason used his teasing and laughter as a shield to hide a rather insightful intelligence that was sometimes so perceptive it was painful. I didn’t like his request for privacy either. What couldn’t he say in front of Micah and Nathaniel? And why?
    Out loud I said, “Okay.” I started off to the far side of the parking lot away from the Jeep, and farther away from Ronnie and Louie, who even a glance showed were still having a quiet screaming match.
    When the shade of the trees that edged the church parking lot lay cool above us, I stopped and turned to Jason. “What’s up?”
    â€œThe thing on the dance floor was sort of my fault.”
    â€œIn what way, your fault?”
    He actually looked embarrassed, which you didn’t see much from Jason. “He wanted to know how I got to have sex with you, real sex, the very first time I helped feed the ardeur .”
    â€œTechnically, it was the second,” I said.
    He frowned at me. “Yeah, but that was when the ardeur was brand new and we didn’t have intercourse, and there were three other men in the bed.”
    I turned away so the dark would help hide the blush, though truthfully he could probably smell it hot on my skin. “Sorry I brought it up, you were saying?”
    â€œHe’s been in your bed for what, four months?”
    â€œSomething like that,” I said.
    â€œAnd he’s not had intercourse yet, hell, he’s not had orgasm, not real orgasm with like release and everything.”
    I couldn’t blush harder or my head would explode. “I’m listening.”
    â€œAnita, you can’t keep pretending that Nathaniel isn’t real.”
    â€œThat’s not fair.”
    â€œMaybe not, but I had no idea that you weren’t at least doing him orally or by hand, or watching him do himself. Something, anything.”
    I just shook my head and looked at the ground. I couldn’t think of anything good to say. If I hadn’t just had my metaphysical peek inside Nathaniel’s head, I would probably have gotten angry, or rude. But I’d seen too far into Nathaniel’s pain, and I couldn’t pretend anymore. Couldn’t ignore it.
    â€œI thought that by not doing the final stuff that it would make it easier for him when the ardeur gets under control and I don’t need a pomme de sang anymore.”
    â€œIs that still your idea, to just dump him when you have enough control that you don’t need to feed?”
    â€œWhat am I supposed to do with him? Keep him like a pet, or a really big child?”
    â€œHe’s not a child, and he’s not a pet,” Jason said, and the first hint of anger was in his voice.
    â€œI know that, and that’s the problem, Jason. If the ardeur hadn’t comeup I’d have been Nathaniel’s Nimir-Ra, and his friend, and that would have been it. Now, suddenly he’s in this category that I don’t even have a name for.”
    â€œHe’s your pomme de sang like I’m Jean-Claude’s.”
    â€œYou and Jean-Claude aren’t fucking, and nobody gets upset about that.”
    â€œNo, because he lets me date. I have lovers if I want them.”
    â€œI’ve been encouraging Nathaniel to date. I want him to have girlfriends.”
    â€œAnd your not-so-subtly encouraging him to look at other women made him turn to me for advice.”
    â€œWhat do you mean?” I asked.
    â€œHe doesn’t want to date other people. He wants to be with you, and Micah, and the vampires. He