Free Plays Unpleasant by George Bernard Shaw

particular. Another time, perhaps –
    BLANCHE . What other time? How do you know that we shall ever meet again? [
Desperately
] Tell me now. I want you to tell me now.
    TRENCH . Well, I was thinking that if we could make up our minds to – or not to – at least – er – [
His nervousness deprives him of the power of speech
].
    BLANCHE [
giving him up as hopeless
] I dont think theres much danger of your making up your mind, Dr Trench.
    TRENCH [
stammering
] I only thought – [
He stops and looks at her piteously. She hesitates a moment, and then puts her hands into his with calculated impulsiveness. He snatches her into his arms with a cry of relief
]. Dear Blanche! I thought I should never have said it. I believe I should have stood stuttering here all day if you hadnt helped me out with it.
    BLANCHE [
indignantly trying to break loose from him
] I didnt help you out with it.
    TRENCH [
holding her
] I dont mean that you did it on purpose, of course. Only instinctively.
    BLANCHE [
still a little anxious
] But you havnt said anything.
    TRENCH . What more can I say than this? [
He kisses her again
].
    BLANCHE [
overcome by the kiss, but holding on to her point
] But Harry –
    TRENCH [
delighted at the name
] Yes.
    BLANCHE . When shall we be married?
    TRENCH . At the first church we meet: the Apollinaris Church, if you like.
    BLANCHE . No, but seriously. This is serious, Harry: you mustnt joke about it.
    TRENCH [
looking suddenly round to the riverside gate and quickly releasing her
] Sh! Here they are back again.
    BLANCHE . Oh, d – [
The word is drowned by the clangor of a bell from within the hotel. The waiter appears on the steps, ringing it. Cokane and Sartorius are seen returning by the river gate
].
    WAITER . Table d’hôte in dwendy minutes, ladies and zhentellmenn. [
He goes into the hotel
].
    SARTORIUS [
gravely
] I intended you to accompany us, Blanche.
    BLANCHE . Yes, papa. We were just about to start.
    SARTORIUS . We are rather dusty: we must make ourselves presentable at the table d’hôte. I think you had better come in with me, my child. Come.
    He offers Blanche his arm. The gravity of his manner overawes them all. Blanche silently takes his arm and goes into the hotel with him. Cokane, hardly less momentous than Sartorius himself, contemplates Trench with the severity of a judge
.
    COKANE [
with reprobation
] No, my dear boy. No, no. Never. I blush for you. I was never so ashamed in my life. You have been taking advantage of that unprotected girl.
    TRENCH [
hotly
] Cokane!
    COKANE [
inexorable
] Her father seems to be a perfect gentleman. I obtained the privilege of his acquaintance: I introduced you: I allowed him to believe that he might leave his daughter in your charge with absolute confidence. And what did I see on our return? what did her father see? Oh, Trench, Trench! No, my dear fellow, no, no. Bad taste, Harry, bad form!
    TRENCH . Stuff! There was nothing to see.
    COKANE . Nothing to see! She, a perfect lady, a person of the highest breeding, actually in your arms; and you say there was nothing to see! with a waiter there actually ringing a heavy bell to call attention to his presence! [
Lecturing him with redoubled severity
] Have you no principles,Trench? Have you no religious convictions? Have you no acquaintance with the usages of society? You actually kissed –
    TRENCH . You didnt see me kiss her.
    COKANE . We not only saw but heard it: the report positively reverberated down the Rhine. Dont condescend to subterfuge, Trench.
    TRENCH . Nonsense, my dear Billy. You –
    COKANE . There you go again. Dont use that low abbreviation. How am I to preserve the respect of fellow travellers of position and wealth, if I am to be Billied at every turn? My name is William: William de Burgh Cokane.
    TRENCH . Oh, bother! There: dont be offended, old chap. Whats the use of putting your back up at every trifle? It comes natural to me to call you Billy: it suits