Free Vampire Taxonomy by Meredith Woerner Page B

presents.
    That being said, should you venture out into the world with a Tragic Vampire, be mindful of inappropriate meeting places that may set him on edge. Again, we don’t support cavorting with this particular species, but we’re aware that sometimes it’s unavoidable; San Franciscan reporters do have their deadlines—just ask Anne Rice’s Daniel Molloy.

STARVING REAL TALENT: UNSEEN ABILITIES
    Tragic Vampires typically exhibit the same unseen and natural talents as the common vampires, with one major difference. The underfed vampire is a weakened being, so normally the ability to read minds, force his will upon others, or partake in any additional psychic powers will be greatly hindered. Whether it’s an inability to focus or purely malnourishment from not drinking blood, Tragic Vamps are never at full capacity when they are underfed. Therefore many Tragic Vampires have either completely lost their unseen abilities, or they have extremely weakened powers.

THE MOODY BUNCH: TRAGIC VAMP BEHAVIOR
Tragic Vampire Talk
    There is no such thing as light conversation with most Tragic Vampires. You’re going to be either shut out completely or subjected to long-winded sermons about a ruined life and a desperate soul on the search for redemption while dealing with “the hunger.” Should you get a Tragic Vampire to talk, a difficult task in itself, make sure you’ve blocked off ample time to discuss years of pain, addiction, in-depth analysis of each action the immortal took postbite, the pains of his heroics, or just hours and hours of feelings banter. Whatever topic he chooses to discuss, it will be full of self-gratifying pity, moral lessons, weary explanations of how he’s taken up fighting evil to save his soul, or something to that tune; whatever the topic, it will be a long conversation. 55
    Why do they launch into lengthy prose? If you manage to pry their trap open, it really all depends on the vampire. Most talk for hours at a time because they so rarely get the chance to speak (what with living in isolation and all). Others drone on because it’s therapeutic to get their past dirty deeds off their undead chests. Sadly, this type of intellectual stimulation can get real old, real fast. The best advice is to stick it out and nod though the entire process. Remember: This is a moody group. A moment of disinterest can be taken as a direct insult against their tireless struggle and plight, and can incite even the calmest of vampires into a hateful bloodlust. Above all things, take their issues deadly seriously.
    SUICIDE WATCH
    Many vampires have a hell of a time dealing with their immortality. Combining an insatiable bloodlust with a never-ending life cycle leaves plenty of room for a lot of guilt, which is why most of the Tragic Vampires should be placed on suicide watch.
    If it is your intention to keep them alive, there are two types of particularly vulnerable vampires that one should keep under close attention so they don’t do anything rash: newly formed vampires and nosferatu that have lived too long and seen too much (as they may put it).
    As seen in The V Word or 30 Days of Night , plenty of newbie vampires would rather die than live a life as a vampire. Keep an eye on newbies as they may head straight for sunrise.
    Those who have been around for centuries often engage in self-inflicted stakings. They may no longer be able to deal with how much the world has changed around them. Vampires who have lived hundreds of years tend to go off the deep end out of despair, which is labeled “the dangerous time.” Many Rice vampires fall victim to this time.
    One of the first Tragic Vampires, Varney throws himself into Mount Vesuvius, no longer able to live with his past actions. Even the more modern vampires today have tried to take their own lives. Moody Edward Cullen attempted to anger the Volturi into ending his eternal suffering over leaving his true love. It’s hard being a vampire but letting the sunrise come