Free Mastered by H. L. Maxwell

Chapter 1
    As
the mid-day sun spilled through the windows in my bedroom and warmed
the covers, I buried my head under the pillow to block out the sound
of my ringing cell phone. The phone rang and vibrated simultaneously,
and the way it buzzed against the wood reminded me of the way my
small vibrator tickled me to the core the night before. I couldn't
help but smile. Ever since I'd quit my second corporate job of filing
papers and entering mundane data, my sexual appetite had been nearly
insatiable. It was like a switch, and I was almost lucky I didn't
have to go work; I wasn't actually sure I ever wanted to leave my bed
again.
    My
phone finally silent, I stretched my arms above my head and relished
in the feel of my muscles pulling taught. Hearing the doorbell, I
mumbled something about nuisances, grabbed a button-down off the
floor, and rushed to the front door.
    Uselessly
tugging the flannel down as I flung the door open, I was greeted by
the welcomed sight of my best friend, Jake. We'd met in college and
since then had followed each other from state to state as we both
found new jobs, new lovers, new husbands and wives, and new houses
after the divorces.
    “Hey
sleepyhead! Still lazing about, are we?” Jake asked, jabbing me
in the shoulder and winking.
    I
grabbed his wrist and pushed it up to his eyes so he could take a
good look at his watch. “For your information,” I said in
a mock-authoritative tone, “it is only -”
    “-noon.”
    “NOON?!”
    “You
got that right, darlin'. You've gone and slept your whole day
away...again. Can I come in? Unless of course, it times for your
nap...”
    Rolling
my eyes, I stepped back and opened the door wide, waving my arm in a
grandiose circle. “You may enter.”
    Sitting
in the chair, his legs spread wide and his arms crossed, Jake watched
me intently as I purposefully plopped down on the sofa, folding my
legs beneath me.
    “So,”
he began.
    “So?”
I squared my shoulders and did my best impression of indignation.
    “So,
it's noon,” he stated simply.
    “Yes.”
    “So,
it's noon and you just woke up, Mags.”
    “...Yes.”
    He
thought for a minute, taking in my defensive posture, and making a
steeple with his fingers underneath his chin. “Are you still
unemployed?”
    “Yes.”
If he wanted an explanation for my recent bout of irresponsibility,
he was going to have to work for it.
    “And...you're liking being unemployed?”
    “Well
no, but-”
    “Are
you still divorced?”
    “YES.”
I felt my voice starting to rise, and I tried to settle down before I
got too worked up.
    “And
have you even been on a date since Alex? Maggie, it's been
over a year. You gotta move on.”
    “Look,
Jake, I-”
    “No,
Mags. Listen.” He leaned forward in his chair, his arms resting
on his knees. “Over these last few months, I've watched as
you've lost the man you'd loved since you were sixteen, and-”
    “Seventeen,
actually, but-”
    “AND,
I've watched as you've gone from job to job, stopped answering calls,
stopped going out, stopped interviewing. Don't take this the wrong
way, darlin', but you've stopped having a spark, stopped...being you .
I miss you, Mags.”
    We
sat for a minute, me looking at the way he ran his fingers through
his hair, a frustrated gesture he'd done for as long as I'd known
him.
    “I
know,” I replied, sighing and letting my shoulders slump.
    “You
know?”
    “Yeah,
Jake. I know . It's no mystery that I'm fucking up, okay? I
know I'm not twenty-three anymore. I know I can't just flit around
and sleep late and drink wine and take walks in the sun, but-”
    “But
what?”
    “But
I'm finally figuring out who the hell I am! I feel now. I
feel...alive.”
    He
leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms again. “Explaaaain.”
    “I
just...okay.” I could feel myself getting flustered. “For
example, I like the way the sun makes my toes tingle when I lie in a
perfect patch of grass. I like the way the water rivers down my back
when I'm in