Free Complete Works, Volume III by Harold Pinter

it would be our pleasure.
    Pause.
    RUTH. I think I'd be too much trouble.
    MAX. Trouble? What are you talking about? What trouble? Listen, I'll tell you something. Since poor Jessie died, eh, Sam? we haven't had a woman in the house. Not one. Inside this house. And I'll tell you why. Because their mother's image was so dear any other woman would have . . . tarnished it. But you . . . Ruth . . . you're not only lovely and beautiful, but you're kin. You're kith. You belong here.
    Pause.
    RUTH. I'm very touched.
    MAX . Of course you're touched. I'm touched.
    Pause.
    TEDDY . But Ruth, I should tell you . . . that you'll have to pull your weight a little, if you stay. Financially. My father isn't very well off.
    RUTH ( to MAX ). Oh, I'm sorry.
    MAX . No, you'd just have to bring in a little, that's all. A few pennies. Nothing much. It's just that we're waiting for Joey to hit the top as a boxer. When Joey hits the top . . . well . . .
    Pause.
    TEDDY . Or you can come home with me.
    LENNY. We'd get you a flat
    Pause.
    RUTH. A flat?
    LENNY. Yes.
    RUTH. Where?
    LENNY. In town.
    Pause.
    But you'd live here, with us.
    MAX. Of course you would. This would be your home. In the bosom of the family.
    LENNY. You'd just pop up to the flat a couple of hours a night, that's all.
    MAX . Just a couple of hours, that's all. That's all.
    LENNY. And you make enough money to keep you going here.
    Pause.
    RUTH. How many rooms would this flat have?
    LENNY. Not many.
    RUTH. I would want at least three rooms and a bathroom.
    LENNY. You wouldn't need three rooms and a bathroom.
    MAX. She'd need a bathroom.
    LENNY. But not three rooms.
    Pause.
    RUTH. Oh, I would. Really.
    LENNY. Two would do.
    RUTH. No. Two wouldn't be enough.
    Pause.
    I'd want a dressing-room, a rest-room, and a bedroom.
    Pause.
    LENNY . All right, we'll get you a flat with three rooms and a bathroom.
    RUTH. With what kind of conveniences?
    LENNY. All conveniences.
    RUTH. A personal maid?
    LENNY. Of course.
    Pause.
    We'd finance you, to begin with, and then, when you were established, you could pay us back, in instalments.
    RUTH. Oh, no, I wouldn't agree to that.
    LENNY. Oh, why not?
    RUTH. You would have to regard your original outlay simply as a capital investment.
    Pause.
    LENNY. I see. All right.
    RUTH. You'd supply my wardrobe, of course?
    LENNY. We'd supply everything. Everything you need.
    RUTH. I'd need an awful lot. Otherwise I wouldn't be content.
    LENNY. You'd have everything.
    RUTH. I would naturally want to draw up an inventory of everything I would need, which would require your signatures in the presence of witnesses.
    LENNY. Naturally.
    RUTH. All aspects of the agreement and conditions of employment would have to be clarified to our mutual satisfaction before we finalized the contract.
    LENNY. Of course.
    Pause.
    RUTH. Well, it might prove a workable arrangement.
    LENNY. I think so.
    MAX . And you'd have the whole of your daytime free, of course. You could do a bit of cooking here if you wanted to.
    LENNY. Make the beds.
    MAX. Scrub the place out a bit.
    TEDDY . Keep everyone company.
    SAM comes forward .
    SAM ( in one breath ). MacGregor had Jessie in the back of my cab as I drove them along.
    He croaks and collapses.
    He lies still.
    They look at him.
    MAX . What's he done? Dropped dead?
    LENNY. Yes.
    MAX . A corpse? A corpse on my floor? Get him out of here! Clear him out of here!
    JOEY bends over SAM.
    JOEY . He's not dead.
    LENNY. He probably was dead, for about thirty seconds.
    MAX. He's not even dead!
    LENNY looks down at SAM.
    LENNY. Yes, there's still some breath there.
    MAX ( pointing at SAM ). You know what that man had?
    LENNY. Has.
    MAX . Has! A diseased imagination.
    Pause.
    RUTH. Yes, it sounds a very attractive idea.
    MAX . Do you want to shake on it now, or do you want to leave it till later?
    RUTH. Oh, we'll leave it till later.
    TEDDY stands .
    He looks down at SAM.
    TEDDY . I was going to ask him to drive me to London Airport.
    He goes to the cases,