Free Roman Crazy by Alice Clayton, Nina Bocci

and deeply loved and was convinced I’d miss terribly the entire time I was abroad. Daniel, the boy I let conveniently fade into my background when a man showed up.
    â€œMarcello happened, and then that was it for me. But when I came down the escalator at Logan Airport, and Daniel was waiting for me at the bottom with balloons and flowers and a sign that said Welcome Home Baby! . . . there was a part of my heartthat hadn’t entirely been given to Marcello that softened once more for him.
    â€œMake no mistake, I was still determined to follow the plan. Get home, get settled, get into a groove at the museum, and then once all my ducks were in a row, break the news to Daniel. Looking back now, I should have reversed that entire order. Because once I was home, and settled, and into my groove, my ducks became fucks. Well, one last duck, for old times’ sake.”
    Daisy interrupted me, shaking her head. “You don’t have to talk about this part, Ave.”
    â€œNo, I do, though, you know? It’s all part of the story.” I wiped a tear with the back of my hand.
    â€œI thought, what could it hurt, right? Daniel was a wonderful boyfriend, and we’d been together for such a long time, and being back at home stirred up some of the feelings that had been dormant the entire time I was in Spain. And that one night I spent with Daniel, with every intention of breaking things off once and for all . . .
    â€œThings are never black and white. I’d planned on telling Daniel about Marcello, I really had. But it turned out I’m not this fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-love-can-conquer-all kind of gal, at least not outside of that little bubble with Marcello.
    â€œI chickened out. I panicked. I spent every waking hour at work, dodged Daniel as much as I could, and strung him along for three entire weeks. And that whole time, I avoided Marcello, too. He’d call, I’d email back. He’d reply to the message, I’d call when I knew he was asleep or in class and leave a voice mail. I was confused and scared and I had no idea what to do.”
    Until a little blue plus sign changed the trajectory of three lives.
    I didn’t have to say that part out loud.
    â€œWell, you at least knew that part of the story.”
    She nodded, patting my hand, her own eyes bright with tears.
    I never told anyone what had happened while I was in Spain, but when I found out I was pregnant, and I knew enough time had passed that it was Daniel’s, I had to tell someone, I couldn’t go through this alone. So I told my best friend, who knew even before I told Daniel.
    â€œAnd then it all just happened so fast. Once Daniel knew he was going to be a father he went out and bought a ring the next day. Our families were toasting the proposal at the country club by that weekend. I flat-out panicked, one hundred percent, no question about it. And I made the biggest mistake of my life by not telling Marcello the truth. I couldn’t face him. And like a coward, I stopped returning his calls.
    â€œIt wasn’t a slow fade with promises of calls or emails. We detonated and it was all my doing. He was blindsided.
    â€œBut I’d made my decision that this was my path, this was what had to happen for the good of my new family.”
    She nodded her head. “And you never got back in touch with him?”
    â€œIt just felt impossible once everything happened. It hurt too much. And besides, I was going to have a baby! Who the hell tells their ex–Italian lover they’re knocked up?”
    â€œYeah, speaking of that—”
    â€œIt wasn’t his. I know it wasn’t.” I shook my head. “Believe me, I went over the math a thousand times before I told you, definitely before I told Daniel. I got my period a few weeks after I got back from Spain, and it was actually that excuse I used to get out of sleeping with Daniel when I first got home.” I smiled