Free Hell Inc. by C. M. Stunich

sidewalk, and Levie caught
my elbow, hauling me up and pulling me along without breaking stride.
    “Because
you broke no rules,” he said. I tried to stop walking and
stare at him, but he dragged me along.
    “No?”
I asked suspiciously.
    “That
was a perfectly legitimate wish. Although I would have preferred it
if you had consulted me first about your phrasing. I see no harm
done.” All of a sudden he was Mr. Nice, Reassuring Demon Guy?
Bullshit. I didn't believe it for a second.
    “You
were glaring at me,” I said, yanking my arm from his grip.
“From the doorway to the exhibit. I saw you.” Levie's
expression changed to something I couldn't quite read and then
reverted back to its default arrogance.
    “That's
none of your concern; just rest assured that all is well.” I
snorted but kept walking. “I can no longer leave you alone for
long, though. I admit, I am afraid you will condemn us both with
your idiocy.” Suddenly, or so it seemed, the restaurant was
right in front of us. I stopped outside the door and turned to
Levie.
    “What
kind of idiot makes the same mistake twice?” I sounded whiny.
Yuck. But I felt like I was on the verge of having a full blown
panic attack. Levie's face softened a bit, and he placed a hand on
my shoulder.
    “You
are merely impulsive and have trouble controlling the words that
continuously stream from your mouth.” I gawked at him and
flung his hand off.
    “Was
that supposed to make me feel better?” I practically shrieked.
Levie frowned and I waved him away. “You know what, forget it.
Just forget it. But I'm canceling AT&T and getting that damn
cell phone coverage.” I yanked open the door to the little
cafe and waited for the hostess to seat us at one of the round
tables. Levie came in and stood silently beside me while I focused
my gaze on the orange terra-cotta tiles on the floor.
    “What
are you going to do, sit with me and my reformed, ex-drug addict
mother?” I snapped at him. Levie, apparently nonplussed,
looked around and selected a table, seating himself comfortably in
one of the wooden chairs. “It says 'Please wait to be
seated,'” I griped at him, just to make myself feel better.
    “I
will eat my own meal here and leave with you when you are finished,”
he said, unwrapping a cloth napkin from around some silverware and
tucking it in his lap. I stood there for a second and then walked
over to another table and sat down with my back to him. You're
    being an asshole again, I told myself and tried to get my
breathing under control. I counted to ten
    then got up and walked back over to Levie's table and sat down again.
    He smiled at me (possibly for the first time ever) as the waitress
    approached us with a pair of menus.
    Before she
even had a chance to speak, I blurted out, “I know it's early,
but can I get a Slippery Nipple, please?” The woman didn't even
look at me; she was staring at Levie and blushing. He was
staring at me and blushing. I was kind of confused. “Um,”
I interjected, trying not to drum my nails on the tabletop. “Can
I get that soon ?” I wasn't trying to be rude, but I
really, really needed that drink. The waitress blinked her eyes
several times like she was coming out of a coma and nodded. He
    isn't that hot , I wanted to shout at her. Levie then ordered a
glass of water, a glass of clean water with three ice cubes.
I wanted to shake him.
    “Humans
offer those kinds of services in dining establishments?” he
asked me after she'd left. I stared at him.
    “What
are you talking about?” I wasn't in the mood to answer dumb
questions. I had several of my own built up and ready to go. He
blushed again, bright and red on those high, haughty, sculpted,
delicious cheek bones. I am losing it. Definitely losing it. I
looked around for the waitress and my drink. There's nothing like a
good shooter at two o'clock on a Wednesday. Levie licked his lips as
he thought about