Free Coffin Island by Will Berkeley

They pulled up the floor.
They bundled up the driftwood.
    The Brownies hauled the entire bar down
into a bunker. They pulled the sea glasses out of our hands. They
slammed the hatch shut.
    “ Best goblin bar on either
side of the emerald ocean,” Professor Coffin grinned. “I’m glad we
didn’t lose her.”
    “ You’re the one that ordered
the wind,” I said.
    “ I gave the Brownies ample
warning,” Professor Coffin said. “Although I think we might have
cut it short ourselves. Run for your life!”
    The goblins rang the bell down in their
bunker. The storm resumed with even more appalling force. I didn’t
think that it could possibly get any worse but it did. It started
raining out of the sea. Sand was flying down out of the sky. The
world was in an off-kilter roar.
    Our examiners had presumably snapped to
order. We had to be close to escaping Coffin Island. Or at least at
the time that’s what I thought.
    We ran for the beach. The wind was
caterwauling around us. Palm trees were uprooting. Sand was clawing
at us. Lightening was striking down pirates. I was viewing this
favorably. This world was appearing legitimate suddenly. Hair was
standing up all over my body.
    I was terrified out of my mind. Panic
was all over me like suit with a ghost in it. Maybe it was just the
bar that was some sort of magical ruse. Some sort of goblin
trickery. I chalked it off as that much.
    I was too busy running for my life to
question anything. Attempting to save myself was keeping my mind
plenty busy. There were just so many things out to kill me. The
palm trees were impaling pirates in the chest. Rocks were flying
into heads. And that was the least of it. The wind was pulling off
limbs.
    “ The stitches can fly?” I
shouted over the carnage.
    “ Madison is the only witch
that can fly,” Professor Coffin shouted. “The Wind People are
stealing my sails!”
    “ Stop those sails!” The Red
Lady shouted.
    Two enormous red sails were flying out
to sea. The stitches were clinging to them like ribbons. They were
fluttering in the wind. Madison flew after them. Clouds with faces
were blowing the red sails out to sea. They had enormous cheeks
like jazz trumpeters. The Wind People played the breeze? It made
some sort of horrible sense. They were probably improvising this
whole drama at our expense. Why not play that horn like it is?
You’ve got to live it. Then you can casually blow that horror for
real.
     
    Chapter
     
    The Wind People were furious.
Lightening was shooting out of them like bayonets. And they were
finding the practice corpses. Pirates were being stabbed in the
heart with lightening. They were being decapitated with brutal
force by the wind. How do you rip a head off with air?
    However the pirates weren’t being
dispatched back to their coffins with furious haste. Those corpses
had to wait. They were bait. The Wind People chummed the emerald
ocean with body parts. Why not?
    You don’t need that head anymore.
You’re dead. Just wait until you see what’s coming for it. It will
make your decapitated head shudder.
    Buckets of flesh and blood were being
hurled into the emerald ocean by The Wind People. Something truly
hideous was bound to turn up. The signs and symbols were looking
particularly violent. It was difficult to pinpoint the precise
reason.
    I was kicking heads into the ocean to
get rid of them. I was throwing the odd arm after it too. There
were just too many disembodied parts hitting me in the
face.
    “ Where are the skiffs?”
Professor Coffin shouted.
    He was sticking his face into the
emerald ocean. I was rooting for a sea monster to eat it. Take that
whole smirk right off his mug.
    “ Have they been sunk?”
Professor Coffin shouted. “My plan is already falling to
pieces.”
    “ The Sea People have them,”
The Red Lady shouted. “They’re in cahoots with The Wind
People.”
    Mermaids were rowing our skiffs out to
sea. They were singing and laughing. They were wildly beautiful.
They were